Help I feel like i am getting worse. medication does not help me at all.

[Asuraa]

So i was diagnosed with ADHD when i was around 7 years old. They gave me meds but i forgot what i took. Ever since i was a kid i never did good in school, but i always managed to get by. I always felt like i was different from the other kids and i was treated like shit by teachers who always thought i was lazy. I remember being told that i am so smart, that i just need to try harder. My parents always were angry at me for doing bad in school, not doing homework shit like that.

After elementary school i was no longer seen by a psychiatrist and I was not helped after that for my ADHD. I just rawdogged my way through middle school, did shitty of course. Until my junior year of high school my teacher noticed and i was seen by the counselor and then seen by a psychiatrist. I was given so many medications. None of them worked. I was given Adderall, that didnt worked so then i switched to Concerta. That didnt do shit either so then i went on wellbutrin, then strattera. Then i graduated high school so i was no longer being seen anymore by the psychiatrist. But none of the medications worked.

College started, and It was fucking horrible. I couldn't get shit done at all. well since in high school teachers were always there to like try to get me to do shit and eventually i did. But in college i just failed. I would cheat and learn nothing all the time. Switched majors like 3 times. eventually dropped out in late 2025, because of my inability to get shit done and the fact that i have social anxiety disorder. I started seeing a psychiatrist and i attend therapy every week. I am currently on Zoloft for anxiety & depression aswell as Adderall IR which i got switched to from Adderall xr.
Still feeling no effect. Even the zoloft. I dont even know what its supposed to feel like but it just feels like no medication at all is working. I dont know what is wrong with my brain or whatever.
I just want to feel better. I want to do better. I say this and yet i have no desire to do anything at all. I dont understand. this makes me want to die so bad. I sit at home all day doing nothing while all the people i know live their lives getting their degrees and everything, and I am just here doing jack shit.

Anyone got any ideas? or relate to this? I don't know why i am like this.

 

[PenPen<3]

I do relate to this especially sitting at home doing nothing I can't focus at all on the things that make me happy and I feel very 'wrong' for not doing things and being happy it's a huge contributor to my suicidal ideation

 

[Asuraa]

I do relate to this especially sitting at home doing nothing I can't focus at all on the things that make me happy and I feel very 'wrong' for not doing things and being happy it's a huge contributor to my suicidal ideation

Genuinely. i feel like adhd is actually the worst torment. you just watch everything pass you by. its horrible :(

 

[PainThreshold]

I hate it, it felt like I missed out on a lot of things and a lot has been lost.

The worst kind of procrastination isn't the one where you delay work on your own assignment, because atleast you have a deadline and will work on it eventually.

The worst kinds are the ones without a clear deadline, such as studying, working out, medication, basically anything that helps you to grow by building up discipline.

I still managed to get by though, by finishing my assignment on time.

Anyway, I still haven't told anyone about my problem and I'm still undiagnosed and unmedicated :P

It's good that you do though, even if it's to no avail ;)

 

[Asuraa]

I hate it, it felt like I missed out on a lot of things and a lot has been lost.

The worst kind of procrastination isn't the one where you delay work on your own assignment, because atleast you have a deadline and will work on it eventually.

The worst kinds are the ones without a clear deadline, such as studying, working out, medication, basically anything that helps you to grow by building up discipline.

I still managed to get by though, by finishing my assignment on time.

Anyway, I still haven't told anyone about my problem and I'm still undiagnosed and unmedicated :P

It's good that you do though, even if it's to no avail ;)

I feel like my mind is full of fog. its like theres something in reach but i just barely miss grabbing it, over and over again. thats how it feels