I feel it is def close to CTB

[complex]

I just feel useless as yet again i make another mistake that only a incompetent fool would do.
I am ashamed, embarrassed and sick of being me as i take oxygen from the worthy.
I just wish I could source SN! i just need to know this time i WON'T fail. I fail in life i can't in death not again!!! And i need out soon and will just have to go a painful uncomfirmed way as this hurt is intolerable.
Three weeks no self harm whoop whoop but where do i than release this self hate if not through self harm!!??!!
I have autism and mental health issues and everyone including professionals find me too 'complex' and many have run from me.
I AM JUST TOO OLD, TOO TIRED AND WANT A CONFIRMED WAY TO CTB NOW NOW NOW
Sorry as a new member i shld probably be more reserved sorry and sorry if not meant to put such self absorbed open outbursts am way to much an OVER sharer

 

[Glazed_Orange]

u joined this forum because you were never allowed to actually express yourself, and feel so welcomed. this community is full of people who understand your struggles, so don't feel bad for sharing your struggle! it's unfortunate that it's been this hard up till now, the fact that even therapists found it hard to understand just sucks! but no matter how much of a waste of space you feel you are, no matter the mistake, it's bound to happen friend, and you shouldn't beat yourself up too hard! hoping and praying, you find your way! :)

 

[complex]

u joined this forum because you were never allowed to actually express yourself, and feel so welcomed. this community is full of people who understand your struggles, so don't feel bad for sharing your struggle! it's unfortunate that it's been this hard up till now, the fact that even therapists found it hard to understand just sucks! but no matter how much of a waste of space you feel you are, no matter the mistake, it's bound to happen friend, and you shouldn't beat yourself up too hard! hoping and praying, you find your way! :)

Thank you for acknowledging me. I keep getting thrown off this site due to being unallowed where i am, but this site is helping me so much and .... As u say to just be around those feeling the same is helping me feel so less alone and less 'complex' and a MH 'issue' i am still going to CTB but with the knowledge i was not alone in feeling and behaving the way i did.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

You're allowed to express yourself here, there's no way you "have to be" as long as it's respectful of others in general! ) <333 We're glad you're here.

Have you taken a look at the the Resource thread?

 

[complex]

You're allowed to express yourself here, there's no way you "have to be" as long as it's respectful of others in general! ) <333 We're glad you're here.

Have you taken a look at the the Resource thread?

I think so...but not very tech savvy and finding navigating this site at times tricky. Sounds silly right!?! Hey i just double donated to a charity leaving myself in a big messy debt and with my autism calling bank and charity is MASSIVE but gonna have to force my already shattered broken head to try and do so!!
Am sick of being such an idiot in so many ways but i am not a complete idiot just HATE tech stuff and fail at it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of suffering in this cruel existence, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.