Venting I feel hopeless and miserable

[orangeKat]

no one wants to hear from me when I'm like this, so I'm posting here.

I realized again that I'm never going to have a girlfriend. and I'm tired of being alive and trying to be happy. there's so much wrong with me and I'm too lazy to fix any of it; in fact, I might not even go to my therapist appointment tomorrow because I really don't feel like working on myself at all. I really just want to give up, but I don't really know how to get a gun or N or anything like that. I just feel miserable. I'm sorry if you wasted your time reading this. hope you have a good day or whatever

 

[dragonofenvy]

I'm not going to tell you whether you should give up. That is your decision and yours alone.

I will tell you my experience with it. In many ways it's freeing to not have to put in the effort any longer, to no longer have to feel the hope get dashed away whenever I make the effort. On the other hand, it makes me feel bad that there's nothing that can be done other than pass the time until I eventually die. There are times when I look back and wish I had tried a bit harder at recovery. Perhaps things would've been better. Perhaps it would've been a wasted effort.

We too, are tired of being alive and having to deal with the pain that life brings all the time with no escape. It's unfair that we have no easy way to escape that suffering. We are stuck in the pit and expected to dig ourselves out. We have scars but were never taught how to heal them. Feeling unloved is especially tormenting. I wish there was more I could do to help ease the pain you're feeling right now. I just hope that in the future you can find freedom either through recovery or through death, whichever you choose.

I am planning on eventually making a thread on how to legally purchase a firearm since that's what I'm planning on using once I get through with it so if you decide to go down that path that might help. Unfortunately, I'm a bit stuck for the next couple of weeks until I can get proper documents, but could offer some advice on it if needed if that's what you want.