If God is All-Knowing, All-Powerful. That means he controls everything, and knows everything. He knew putting a person with your mind and physical features in your specific situation would lead to you wanting to CTB but he did it anyway. When he could have easily changed reality to make it not happen. He could literally do that for EVERYONE. He's in control.
Yes, if God exists your misery IS HIS FAULT. Why are you trying to lie to people when even a child can see how nonsensical your statement is?