Tionally
bored
- Jul 5, 2023
- 115
I've written a post about feeling as if everything is not real before but I think it's only gotten stronger now.
I feel so detached from everything and It certainly doesn't help that I already had anhedonia before this. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. I feel so disconnected from the person I was and am. I even feel disconnected from my memories. I know that I experienced them but it doesn't feel like this.
I even feel disconnected from the people I know. When I go out with my friends I know that I know them but I feel so detached. I am talking and hanging out with them but it doesn't feel like I'm the one doing it. It seems like I only watch as somebody does despite being the one saying and doing things. I even feel like as if they don't exist and if I don't see them for more than a day the feeling gets stronger. Nothing just feels real anymore and they don't to.
I spend most of my day now daydreaming and imagining I'm somewhere else. I don't feel like I'm here.
Nothing I do matters. Everything seems to be the same. So what is even the point? Writing this probably also doesn't matter but I guess I just wanted to tell it to someone and I certainly wouldn't to my friends.
Because of this derealization and depersonalization CTB seems even more likely for me.
I feel so detached from everything and It certainly doesn't help that I already had anhedonia before this. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize myself. I feel so disconnected from the person I was and am. I even feel disconnected from my memories. I know that I experienced them but it doesn't feel like this.
I even feel disconnected from the people I know. When I go out with my friends I know that I know them but I feel so detached. I am talking and hanging out with them but it doesn't feel like I'm the one doing it. It seems like I only watch as somebody does despite being the one saying and doing things. I even feel like as if they don't exist and if I don't see them for more than a day the feeling gets stronger. Nothing just feels real anymore and they don't to.
I spend most of my day now daydreaming and imagining I'm somewhere else. I don't feel like I'm here.
Nothing I do matters. Everything seems to be the same. So what is even the point? Writing this probably also doesn't matter but I guess I just wanted to tell it to someone and I certainly wouldn't to my friends.
Because of this derealization and depersonalization CTB seems even more likely for me.
