everywhere i go theres passive transphobia. like its so normal to some people to be transphobic that its just like discussing the weather. and everytime i hear it im just pushed farther and farther into the closet.
it doesn't even seem worth it to come out. people are just going to go behind my back and talk about how i "think im trans" as if im a 5 year old pretending they're a dinosaur. and when they're telling a story about me, they'll acknowledge that "shes a boy now" but somehow forget that pretty much every man uses he. and suddenly everyone who thought that they/them weren't real pronouns will conveniently know how they work when speaking about me to avoid using the pronouns i prefer.
on top of that, theres people who claim they're too old (they're in their 20's?? -.-) to try to refer to someone correctly as a shield to defend their transphobia. people who knows me beforehand will always know my deadname and what i was born as, and refuse to refer to me as anything else with prayers that i'll be normal again.
this is all stuff that i watch happen to the few trans people around me. i wish i had enough courage to be out like them, but i feel like its more pain than its worth. i only pass to people i dont know already, but its always short lived because im not out of the closet and someone will come by and refer to me as she. plus i'd feel guilty using resources to physcially transition because it'll just go to waste if i end up CTB.
it doesn't even seem worth it to come out. people are just going to go behind my back and talk about how i "think im trans" as if im a 5 year old pretending they're a dinosaur. and when they're telling a story about me, they'll acknowledge that "shes a boy now" but somehow forget that pretty much every man uses he. and suddenly everyone who thought that they/them weren't real pronouns will conveniently know how they work when speaking about me to avoid using the pronouns i prefer.
on top of that, theres people who claim they're too old (they're in their 20's?? -.-) to try to refer to someone correctly as a shield to defend their transphobia. people who knows me beforehand will always know my deadname and what i was born as, and refuse to refer to me as anything else with prayers that i'll be normal again.
this is all stuff that i watch happen to the few trans people around me. i wish i had enough courage to be out like them, but i feel like its more pain than its worth. i only pass to people i dont know already, but its always short lived because im not out of the closet and someone will come by and refer to me as she. plus i'd feel guilty using resources to physcially transition because it'll just go to waste if i end up CTB.
