ceasellthepain
New Member
- Nov 10, 2025
- 4
hello, im back, which means my attempt did fail. i feel really disgusting and i dont even know how to recover from this. school just started so theres absolutely no time to heal because of schoolworks.
I didnt know trying to go by the rope would be so difficult. i went to this little forest behind our house at early morning of january first, i found a branch strong enough to sustain my weight and tried to hang from there but god was it painful. i feel like i was 10 seconds away from passing out but i couldnt bare the pain.
dissapointed, i went back home and tried to ctb using the method i always attempt with which is by drowning. but alas, it failed as well. it was less painful but i could definitely feel my lungs more than ever. ive never been so close to dying.
i genuinely feel horrible. ive been preparing myself for this for weeks now yet i failed again. i failed myself and probably everyone too. i was really looking for everyone around me to have one less problem this year.
i dont know if im gonna try to get better for 2026 because ive quite literally already messed it up as ive lost another friend again. here's to more attempts and tears, i guess.
I didnt know trying to go by the rope would be so difficult. i went to this little forest behind our house at early morning of january first, i found a branch strong enough to sustain my weight and tried to hang from there but god was it painful. i feel like i was 10 seconds away from passing out but i couldnt bare the pain.
dissapointed, i went back home and tried to ctb using the method i always attempt with which is by drowning. but alas, it failed as well. it was less painful but i could definitely feel my lungs more than ever. ive never been so close to dying.
i genuinely feel horrible. ive been preparing myself for this for weeks now yet i failed again. i failed myself and probably everyone too. i was really looking for everyone around me to have one less problem this year.
i dont know if im gonna try to get better for 2026 because ive quite literally already messed it up as ive lost another friend again. here's to more attempts and tears, i guess.
