i don't want to live in constant pain

[_Minsk]

what's the point of living a life that just can't make you happy anymore?
i lost my will to live so many years ago, i kept on pushing forward though, with the hope that things might improve if i just stay strong, keep moving..
i think i reached a point where i can say for sure, if my life stays in this unresolvable state of suffering and I'm not being able to fix my health so i can live a happy life, then there's no hope and point at all..
why i even keep on trying? life has been torturous the last years, i did suffer so much and beside the pain, there were just more letdowns and health issues that addup to the already existing ones and the desire to ctb..

i just cant accept this life for what it is, why does it has to be this hard? i mean some people literally fly through life, with passion and joy, and others are left with basically nothing than crippling health issues and trauma, is it really just a game of genes and environment?

 

[sanguineblade]

I understand you more than you can think of.
Keep pushing with hope of something getting better, something happening and having some health back... but nop
Getting worse...
Nightmare
This thing really dont make sense
Seeing terrible people treating others bad having their health and being happy
And good and kind people suffering with health issues
This reality makes me feel ... i cant express it in words really

 

[Circles]

I wish I had the words to brings you comfort. But mere words aren't enough to ease the suffering. Words are shallow. But in that shallowness there's the ability to understand that our lives really aren't our own. It's all uncontrollable. It's not your fault you're experiencing this much pain and I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know I understand and so do many others here but that again doesn't take away the pain and the loneliness. I always hated the cliche that 'you're not alone' cause at the end of the day we're still going to feel alone. But going back to my point about it all being uncontrollable. It's not our fault we're experiencing this. And sorry if none of this helps.

 

[sanguineblade]

What @Circles said is really true. Life is uncontrollable, unpredictable. We dont have complete control (if any) of the next thing life brings. It's really like our lives our super determined or they are so chaotic that the randomness makes them still non controllable.
Result is the same anyways.

 

[Nanako]

To answer your last question: yes. It's a combination between general luck and good genes that leads to a happy life, and not everyone is blessed with those. I can do without tremendously favorable genetics, personally it was the lack of luck that ruined me beyond repair.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

what's the point of living a life that just can't make you happy anymore?
i lost my will to live so many years ago, i kept on pushing forward though, with the hope that things might improve if i just stay strong and keep moving..
i think i reached a point where i can say for sure, if my life stays in this unresolvable state of suffering and not being able to fix my health so i can live a happy life, there's no hope anf point at all..
why i even keep on trying? life has been torturous the last years, i did suffer so much and beside the pain, there were just more letdowns and health issues that addup to the already existing ones and the desire to ctb..

i just cant accept this life for what it is, why does it has to be this hard? i mean some people literally fly through life, with passion and joy, and others are left with basically nothing than crippling health issues and trauma, is really just a game of genes and environment?

I think we are being tested here on earth

 

[_Minsk]

i really love your posts, thanks everyone for sharing and caring:3

I think we are being tested here on earth

what do you think we are tested for?

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Sending you hugs and healing thoughts. I wish to say that it will get better, but it never did, for me at least. However you are not alone..

 

[Pluto]

what do you think we are tested for?

COVID-19.

 

[rationaltake]

what's the point of living a life that just can't make you happy anymore?
i lost my will to live so many years ago, i kept on pushing forward though, with the hope that things might improve if i just stay strong, keep moving..
i think i reached a point where i can say for sure, if my life stays in this unresolvable state of suffering and I'm not being able to fix my health so i can live a happy life, then there's no hope and point at all..
why i even keep on trying? life has been torturous the last years, i did suffer so much and beside the pain, there were just more letdowns and health issues that addup to the already existing ones and the desire to ctb..

i just cant accept this life for what it is, why does it has to be this hard? i mean some people literally fly through life, with passion and joy, and others are left with basically nothing than crippling health issues and trauma, is it really just a game of genes and environment?

I relate to this. I am lucky enough not to be in physical pain but I am in mental torment. I really have tried. But no more. You summed it up so succinctly: "a game of genes and environment". Btw I love your avatar. I can't post much. I'm imprisoned by OCD. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is horrible being alive, life is very unfair. Many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. I believe we are here for no purpose, we are just waiting around for death. Life is just meaningless suffering. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when you are in constant pain, our bodies can torture us. After all, we are all human and there is only so much we can take. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[lonerclown666]

I just live for survive at this point i know i will never be happy in my time on earth