Venting I don't want to get better

[IJustWantToDie21]

I do a lot of things that don't really help me, and tend to hurt me instead. But I also don't really want to get better. I just throw away my pills, lie to my therapist, lie to my doctor, I don't want help, I don't want to heal. I have gone to such extremes to cause what would normally be an undesired effect, that, my parents hate me. And now I just lie no matter what, just to run away from the pain and say I'm getting better, so that I can ctb with no problems, and I feel terrible about the lying, but at the same time it might just be worth it.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Oh, you seem so desperate, sweetheart. Sometimes, we don't want to improve ourselves or solve our problems. Sometimes, all we want is the comfort of a few nice words and a warm embrace. Mama bear knows that. You're tired, and you just want to stop trying, but this is not about trying. This is about letting yourself relax on mama's words. *strokes hair*

You've been so strong to even get to this point, and you've been brave and courageous for letting your feelings out for us. You have done so much so far, you deserve a rest, cubbie. Mama wants nothing but the best for you, and right now the best thing is to relax and let the pain go. *hugs* You can cling on mama for as long as you want. I love you and I support you, no matter what, my beautiful darling.

 

[777cave]

Oh, you seem so desperate, sweetheart. Sometimes, we don't want to improve ourselves or solve our problems. Sometimes, all we want is the comfort of a few nice words and a warm embrace. Mama bear knows that. You're tired, and you just want to stop trying, but this is not about trying. This is about letting yourself relax on mama's words. *strokes hair*

You've been so strong to even get to this point, and you've been brave and courageous for letting your feelings out for us. You have done so much so far, you deserve a rest, cubbie. Mama wants nothing but the best for you, and right now the best thing is to relax and let the pain go. *hugs* You can cling on mama for as long as you want. I love you and I support you, no matter what, my beautiful darling.

Condescending

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Condescending

Those words were nothing but my true feelings. Some people just need soothing words and reassurements to feel better. That's what I wanted to provide. So far, nobody here on SaSu told me I was being condescending, but I got plenty of responses that are genuinely heartwarming, and they fuel me to go further in comforting the hurt and tired people here in SaSu.

If anything, @IJustWantToDie21 is free to tell me what they think, and if they wish, I will no longer post anything of the kind towards them. Until them, I'll assume that was comforting and heartwarming, just like it was for everyone else.

 

[wham311]

What's crazy is your life will fall apart with this attitude, and then it becomes dire and there's nothing you can do about it.

I've spent all week trying to figure out my first step but every one of them necessitates other things in my kife going well. There's no way out now.

This is gonna be a really long, bad life

 

[lemonandcapers]

I do a lot of things that don't really help me, and tend to hurt me instead. But I also don't really want to get better. I just throw away my pills, lie to my therapist, lie to my doctor, I don't want help, I don't want to heal. I have gone to such extremes to cause what would normally be an undesired effect, that, my parents hate me. And now I just lie no matter what, just to run away from the pain and say I'm getting better, so that I can ctb with no problems, and I feel terrible about the lying, but at the same time it might just be worth it.

I'm sorry to hear that you have to put in all of that effort to hide how you truly feel. I can imagine that you would be exhausted and not wanting to try. I hope you are able to find relief from your pain, whatever happens.