I don’t want to face tomorrow.

[prototypian]

Every day has a tomorrow and every night I fear it. Tomorrow repeats every day and the subtle horrors just roll forward. The concept of a horror movie is so much less real than the fear of a normal day. No one faces jump scares. What we face is a continuous belittlement and chipping away of our humanity piece by piece as we realize our only value is consuming and debt. I have nothing to hope for, nothing to dream of, no success.

I read a book called the subtle art of not giving a fuck and it tried to strive for a philosophy that if you accept you are not important and accept you have no value and will never be of any value then you have found peace. I only felt depressed and deeply melancholy. If that is it then why continue to care about anything. I'd rather die.

 

[popcornheart]

I truly resonate with your sentiment here. I wish there was something more to this life than this, and sometimes it feels like there is for most people. Some of us just have nothing and others do no understand.

I don't understand why they can't just give us a way out. Why must we suffer each day? If only there was more compassion for those of us that wish to depart on our own terms without additional years of suffering.

I wish you the best.