Venting I don't want to die, I just feel like I have to

[Scythe]

I have a lot I want to do, why'd they have to make it so hard to live? To be alive I have to work at some shit job for some greedy asshole. I just want to keep creating what I want, but alas that won't make enough to feed me. Nobody irl will understand, from what I kmow they'll all say "That's life." "Life's tough." They'd push the blame onto me, and frankly I get that, I am being picky, but I've got the right to be picky since I'm willing to literally die to be picky.

I just want to continue, live past next year willingly, not by a failed attempt. I don't think that can happen though, I'm going to die, and I am okay with that. I just wish it doesn't have to be this way. I don't want to hurt my family, some of them deserve it but not all of them. I want to keep seeing my cat friends. I want to keep finding niche games to play. Most of all, I want to keep creating.

I wish the world isn't falling apart, I wish things are different. I wish I can be who I want to be. I wish I can be happy being alive. I wish I never had to wish.

 

[ma0]

Pretty similar shit here. I have so many ideas I'd like to make a reality, but with the current state of things it's clear that it will benefit me very little, if at all, and hell, that's assuming I finish it which, let's face it, I won't.

If there was a way to remove all the misery from my life without dying, I'd take it in a heartbeat, but it seems like there's not much I can do.

I'm really sorry shit's turned out this way. What's even worse is I don't think anything wrong or broken, the system's working exactly as intended.

 

[Pale_Rider]

I can empathize. To much pain, for to long. No solutions are available.

 

[Dejected 55]

Very similar. I've reached a point where I can't justify trying anymore and soon I will not have the ability to support myself financially or have a place to live or food to eat and I'd rather take myself out than die that way.