Venting I don't want to die but I need to for the safety of others

[cujoh]

For as long as I can remember I've been a pathological liar. I also harass strangers online in order to frighten them and make them feel unsafe and have anonymously harassed people I know irl in order to take out my anger. I don't know quite why i'm like this which causes me ti infer that my evilness must be somewhat genetic. I was quite literally born to have to die. I can't hold a relationship and avoid friendships as i fear I'll mess them up through ending up being cruel to them somehow or being annoying and clingy and I constantly think of myself. I don't want to die, I need to. I need to be executed for the harm i cause to others.

That's why I'm ending things. I've been like this for years and don't think I'll ever have therapy access as i'd be too ashamed to seek help. I don't think I'd prefer to commit suicide but for the greater good I really should.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Are you sure you aren't overstating your evils?

Why not at least try therapy before trying suicide. Suicide will always be there if it doesn't help.

People also learn from their relationships and what has caused previous ones to sour. Your improving in this regard is not out of the question.

 

[yxmux]

Sorry if this is rude of me to ask. Do you have BPD, OP?

 

[cujoh]

Sorry if this is rude of me to ask. Do you have BPD, OP?

probably something like that.