alwayspissedoff
but for now I cry, all the tears.
- Aug 10, 2025
- 60
why, why do they have to care for me? why do they gotta treat me like i'm a fucking child? I know I'm a fucking loser who wouldn't survive without them, but I don't deserve that.
why do they gotta care about me drinking? why do they gotta care about me possibly doing sh? why do they want me to "come out more" and speak with them or other people, if it's just gonna be fucking normie small talk that I HATE.
why do they gotta force me to keep going to the fucking psychiatrist when one of the meds he gave me quite literally caused me a very bad allergic reaction, with rash and fucking sickness.
why do they want me to go back to therapy, to have someone pretend to care about me, and force me to vent stuff that I don't want to, and to mask my fucking way out of there.
I wish I was competent enough to not be fucking studying right now for a degree that is probably gonna leave me jobless for a while or earning miserable wages, get a full time job, and get the fuck out of here asap to ctb in peace, without worrying about them stopping me or whatever.
I really should not have been born. I was a mistake. now I'm waiting to have a psychotic attack and slit my throat or smth so I can just die right here, instead of waiting to be able to do an actual method.
the worst part is that I know I'm a piece of shit for thinking this way. how many people would give everything to have a family that cares about them? yet this fucker whines about having them. I really should not have been born.
why do they gotta care about me drinking? why do they gotta care about me possibly doing sh? why do they want me to "come out more" and speak with them or other people, if it's just gonna be fucking normie small talk that I HATE.
why do they gotta force me to keep going to the fucking psychiatrist when one of the meds he gave me quite literally caused me a very bad allergic reaction, with rash and fucking sickness.
why do they want me to go back to therapy, to have someone pretend to care about me, and force me to vent stuff that I don't want to, and to mask my fucking way out of there.
I wish I was competent enough to not be fucking studying right now for a degree that is probably gonna leave me jobless for a while or earning miserable wages, get a full time job, and get the fuck out of here asap to ctb in peace, without worrying about them stopping me or whatever.
I really should not have been born. I was a mistake. now I'm waiting to have a psychotic attack and slit my throat or smth so I can just die right here, instead of waiting to be able to do an actual method.
the worst part is that I know I'm a piece of shit for thinking this way. how many people would give everything to have a family that cares about them? yet this fucker whines about having them. I really should not have been born.
