I don't want help

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

There I said it. I am seeing a therapist, but I dont want help. I could get a job but I dont want to. I could finish college, but I dont want ot. I could make friends, but I dont want to. I could go to a hospital/program, but I dont want to

Depression is comfortable. Abuse is comfortable. Trauma is comfortable. Death is comfortable.

 

[mrj]

I cant speak on abuse or traume, but Depression and death feel (too) comfortable. Alle the best to you

 

[_Minsk]

Had a similar thought, death is very comfortable but all the help which is being offered can't even repair all the damage which took place.. i don't want just a somewhat 'ok' life anyway

 

[Ghost2211]

I feel you. I also don't want help. I don't think the bs they feed us actually changes or helps anything. I can see how the low parts of life can become so familiar they become comfortable.

 

[socrates]

Is death comfortable?

I think I can relate to the not wanting to get better, it's hard work, a lot of hard work. And for what? A lame life. No thanks! if I want a life I want a kick ass life.

 

[RedDEE]

I want help. But there is no help available. Hotlines do not help. Going to the psych ward for 2 weeks does not help. The medicine they prescribe do not help. Therapy does not help.

I'm near homeless. There is no help for me to find a place to live, NONE. I have two broken teeth that kill me with pain. There is no help available, at all.

I am so far gone, and my life is so broken, that the only thing that could save me and save my life is a miracle. Divine intervention from God himself is the only thing that can save me now. And no matter how much I pray, the voices in my head only laugh at me harder. So that leaves me with only one option. I only know one thing that can save me now.

 

[esann]

It's funny cause everyone spends so much time convincing you life is so valuable this...life is beautiful that....blah blah blah. Life is a f***ing burden in my opinion. So many expectations you have to live up to- whether its legal expectations, family obligations/expectations, job expectations. You gotta deal with shitty obligations like having to Work a job to "live", having to drive, having to maintain your car, feed the children, pay the bills...all for the sake of WHAT? You work to eat,You eat to live, but you live for the sake of what? You work to have children, you have the children, but for the sake of what? The children have to grow up to be adults and contribute to society, but at the expense of what? Their happiness. You "contribute" to society but not for your own benefit. It's for the benefit of money. For the benefit of this capitalist, greedy society. You become an Unhappy adult only to eventually die.

 

[deltaofvenus]

Depression is comfortable. Abuse is comfortable. Trauma is comfortable. Death is comfortable.

This part really hits me. It's so true. I also do not want help. There was a time I did, not anymore.

 

[sadstuffie]

we tend to come back to comfortable behaviors no matter how much they hurt us, it's only human.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

There I said it. I am seeing a therapist, but I dont want help. I could get a job but I dont want to. I could finish college, but I dont want ot. I could make friends, but I dont want to. I could go to a hospital/program, but I dont want to

Depression is comfortable. Abuse is comfortable. Trauma is comfortable. Death is comfortable.

The first part of this I fully understand. I don't really want help either. I want to die. I could seek comfort in my friends, but I'd rather be alone.

The second part was harder for me, though. My depression sucks. I don't know if it's comfortable. It hurts me, even physically. I don't know if I'd say abuse, trauma, and death are also comfortable. I think the idea of death is comfortable to me. I like the idea that I could die and just leave everything. It's much easier than trying to make everything in life work, especially when the possibility for any rewarding outcome seems so slim. Yes, the idea of death is comfortable and desirable.

 

[rt1989526]

Neither, I just want to not exist. Too much to ask apparently.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

There I said it. I am seeing a therapist, but I dont want help. I could get a job but I dont want to. I could finish college, but I dont want ot. I could make friends, but I dont want to. I could go to a hospital/program, but I dont want to

Depression is comfortable. Abuse is comfortable. Trauma is comfortable. Death is comfortable.

I know how you feel all too well

 

[Eren]

I'm sorry you feel that way, I just want to not exist.

 

[agentgeez]

I get what you mean. While our actual situation clearly isn't comfortable considering we're seeking death, the process of 'fixing' it would just be too long and arduous and doesn't even feel like a solution. I continue in this state of 'doing nothing' because I don't feel any inclination that doing anything else is good; it feels like I'd just as easily seek therapy as go skydiving, they both seem pointless from this position. It's like not having a sense of hunger and the only hint that you should eat food to not die is by other people telling you to. The only hope would be something that brought back that inner fire, something that would make getting better make sense again.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

I think I can relate to the not wanting to get better, it's hard work, a lot of hard work. And for what? A lame life. No thanks! if I want a life I want a kick ass life.

This so much.

 

[Fire&Ash]

sometimes I wonder if I'm just confused on how I feel. Confused between thinking I'm lazy so I don't feel pushed to do bigger goals, or maybe I have an executive dysfunction thing/attention thing. I question myself always. I just know I'm not getting anywhere and I probably wont

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

It's funny cause everyone spends so much time convincing you life is so valuable this...life is beautiful that....blah blah blah. Life is a f***ing burden in my opinion. So many expectations you have to live up to- whether its legal expectations, family obligations/expectations, job expectations. You gotta deal with shitty obligations like having to Work a job to "live", having to drive, having to maintain your car, feed the children, pay the bills...all for the sake of WHAT? You work to eat,You eat to live, but you live for the sake of what? You work to have children, you have the children, but for the sake of what? The children have to grow up to be adults and contribute to society, but at the expense of what? Their happiness. You "contribute" to society but not for your own benefit. It's for the benefit of money. For the benefit of this capitalist, greedy society. You become an Unhappy adult only to eventually die.

Exactly.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting help. A lot of us feel there is just no joy in living... and that should be ok.

My mom is in her 70s and has stage 4 cancer and still wants to fight it and live. Imo she has a boring ass life with me being her only kid that gives a shit, but she still enjoys life. I dont get people like that at all but good for them. I would take her cancer in a heartbeat if I could.

I see a lot of people post on here about the pain of just existing every day... getting up only to work, eat, sleep and do it all over again. That's exactly how I feel. What's the point? Why are we made to work to keep a roof over our heads and be part of society that only makes us miserable.

Just so others aren't let down by our choice to pass peacefully I guess...

 

[Xiaomi]

Just like in Linkin Park's song, Heavy
"I want to let go but there's comfort in the panic"

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't want help either. I realized that most help available requires you to have a motivated will to live and an honest willingness to work hard to recover. I just hate life and want some way out of the pain.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I don't see the point in having to constantly struggle for things I will never realistically have anyways. Participating in the game of life with the problems I have would be like playing a rigged game of blackjack with a crooked dealer.

The sheer amount of effort you have to put in just to merely exist much less exist with basic comfort makes life inherently worthless to me. Why should I keep trying for the sake of something that isn't worth it in the first place?