I don't understand how the whole world ISN'T depressed

[Darkover]

I cant get with this life shit. It's dumb. Working a job I hate, to pay for things I don't want, to then retire with likely not nearly enough money, to then die. Like what the fuck is life. This is stupid.

How do people just do this and get through the day and 'enjoy the little things' like fucking coffee and TV. Like, people at work just can't wait to get off and enjoy that 'glass of wine by the fire' type bullshit. Is that what I'm supposed to be into? I don't have ANYTHING I look forward to after work. The only thing I enjoy is the time I spend not being conscious of the world, when I'm sleeing, which is never long enough.

I feel like shit all the time. Every day feels absolutely impossible. The minutes go by so slowly. All I think about every minute of every day is how I feel like I don't belong on this fucking planet. I don't belong here, my thoughts and feelings don't align with the people around me. My values and beliefs don't fit in the place that I work. I don't enjoy any of the things that I feel like I'm supposed to enjoy. I don't have any energy for work. There are no 'good days and bad days' in my life, they are all just painfully agonizing.

I used to think "Oh, when I'm older things will be better" "Things will be better in 2 weeks when I get paid" "Things will be better once I graduate" "Things will be better once bedtime comes". Its fucking bullshit. Shit doesn't get better, it all stays the exact same. Every. Single. Day. And it's all bullshit.

 

[Dayrain]

enjoy the little things

Makes me boil.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sorry- this is going to sound like I'm having a go at you but- from what you've said before- I thought you didn't work. I'm not sure you've ever done the 9-5 in an office or whatever? As to why would it appeal to you or anyone else though- fair enough!

I can only speak for what I've witnessed and interpreted. My own experience is tainted to some degree because I've had ideation since I was 10- so, I maybe haven't experienced the 'normie' version of this.

- Some people genuinely do enjoy their work. I do more or less. (My creative job anyway.) These sorts of people (workaholics) pretty much live to work. In fact- we feel more suicidal without it. For us- work is another distraction from life. It can even get us out of doing the normal stuff other people enjoy- socialising etc.

- Some people are very family orientated. They recognise that they need money to do nice things with their family- so- they get well paid jobs to support that. Plus, they do all they can to get a good work/life balance- they go part time or work from home.

- Some people I've known are obsessed with travelling or sports or a hobby. They work to fund those things but they don't become so identified with their job that it upsets them. They do their hours and then, go to the gym or whatever and they're always saving for their next holiday.

- Some people get on very well with their colleagues. If you're lucky enough to be in a good working environment, it can help. Even if the job is shitty, being with other people who hate it too and having a secret bitch about things can help!

- Some people are very good at getting what thry want out of a company. They'll fulfil their role but they'll make damn sure they get the company car, the bonuses and all the perks. Some employees exploit their employers just as much as the other way around!

I think when people are especially unhappy at work is:

- When they have a very strong desire to be doing something else. I experienced that- being stuck in retail and desperately wanting a creative job.

- When they know they aren't fulfilling their potential or, they are being exploited- which sadly- seems to happen in a lot of jobs.

- When they have nothing else to balance it with. Nothing to distract them from how much they hate the job and life.

Really though- I've found that positive emotions tend to be stimulated by contrast. Even for someone who enjoys their work, if they work for months on end doing long hours with no break (this is me also,) most people will tire of that. On the other hand- millionaires who don't have to work at all kill themselves sometimes! It's like- you can't appreciate the same thing if you do it all the time. Even if that thing is living the high life!

Sorry to pick on you. It's probably not your fault but- where is the contrast in your life? Do you have things you especially hate and especially enjoy or- is it all bland? It's a shit setup but the most amazing and relaxed I ever felt was when I quit a very stressful Head of Department job. It's like- if I hadn't had felt that stressed, overworked and utterly pissed off- I wouldn't have felt that hedonistic sense of relief when I quit! Not that that's a good thing of course!

As a lesser example, do you ever exercise? I'm trying to make an effort again this year. I hate it with a passion but I like the feeling when I've just finished it. It's messed up- but, sometimes we have to do stuff we hate in order to feel the reward afterwards. I guess the hope is that it won't become every day at work!

Really honestly though? I can't say I fully understand it either. Just certain types of jobs even. I've just done my tax return and I truly think I would kill myself if I was an accountant! We're all different though I guess- thankfully. Some people get satisfaction maybe from doing stuff like that! Good job we are all different. Imagine if we all liked and hated the same things. 8 billion people all after the same job role!

 

[doneforlife]

Sorry- this is going to sound like I'm having a go at you but- from what you've said before- I thought you didn't work. I'm not sure you've ever done the 9-5 in an office or whatever? As to why would it appeal to you or anyone else though- fair enough!

I can only speak for what I've witnessed and interpreted. My own experience is tainted to some degree because I've had ideation since I was 10- so, I maybe haven't experienced the 'normie' version of this.

- Some people genuinely do enjoy their work. I do more or less. (My creative job anyway.) These sorts of people (workaholics) pretty much live to work. In fact- we feel more suicidal without it. For us- work is another distraction from life. It can even get us out of doing the normal stuff other people enjoy- socialising etc.

- Some people are very family orientated. They recognise that they need money to do nice things with their family- so- they get well paid jobs to support that. Plus, they do all they can to get a good work/life balance- they go part time or work from home.

- Some people I've known are obsessed with travelling or sports or a hobby. They work to fund those things but they don't become so identified with their job that it upsets them. They do their hours and then, go to the gym or whatever and they're always saving for their next holiday.

- Some people get on very well with their colleagues. If you're lucky enough to be in a good working environment, it can help. Even if the job is shitty, being with other people who hate it too and having a secret bitch about things can help!

- Some people are very good at getting what thry want out of a company. They'll fulfil their role but they'll make damn sure they get the company car, the bonuses and all the perks. Some employees exploit their employers just as much as the other way around!

I think when people are especially unhappy at work is:

- When they have a very strong desire to be doing something else. I experienced that- being stuck in retail and desperately wanting a creative job.

- When they know they aren't fulfilling their potential or, they are being exploited- which sadly- seems to happen in a lot of jobs.

- When they have nothing else to balance it with. Nothing to distract them from how much they hate the job and life.

Really though- I've found that positive emotions tend to be stimulated by contrast. Even for someone who enjoys their work, if they work for months on end doing long hours with no break (this is me also,) most people will tire of that. On the other hand- millionaires who don't have to work at all kill themselves sometimes! It's like- you can't appreciate the same thing if you do it all the time. Even if that thing is living the high life!

Sorry to pick on you. It's probably not your fault but- where is the contrast in your life? Do you have things you especially hate and especially enjoy or- is it all bland? It's a shit setup but the most amazing and relaxed I ever felt was when I quit a very stressful Head of Department job. It's like- if I hadn't had felt that stressed, overworked and utterly pissed off- I wouldn't have felt that hedonistic sense of relief when I quit! Not that that's a good thing of course!

As a lesser example, do you ever exercise? I'm trying to make an effort again this year. I hate it with a passion but I like the feeling when I've just finished it. It's messed up- but, sometimes we have to do stuff we hate in order to feel the reward afterwards. I guess the hope is that it won't become every day at work!

Really honestly though? I can't say I fully understand it either. Just certain types of jobs even. I've just done my tax return and I truly think I would kill myself if I was an accountant! We're all different though I guess- thankfully. Some people get satisfaction maybe from doing stuff like that! Good job we are all different. Imagine if we all liked and hated the same things. 8 billion people all after the same job role!

What kind of creative job are you pursuing? Do you write? I think you express beautifully. There was another user. Great writer. I wish I had the calibre to write..

 

[FuneralCry]

I also see sleeping as the best way to pass the time, it's dreadful to me how we cannot just choose to fall into an eternal and dreamless sleep. But anyway I wish you the best, I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence, to me existence is very burdensome.

 

[Darkover]

Sorry- this is going to sound like I'm having a go at you but- from what you've said before- I thought you didn't work. I'm not sure you've ever done the 9-5 in an office or whatever? As to why would it appeal to you or anyone else though- fair enough!

I can only speak for what I've witnessed and interpreted. My own experience is tainted to some degree because I've had ideation since I was 10- so, I maybe haven't experienced the 'normie' version of this.

- Some people genuinely do enjoy their work. I do more or less. (My creative job anyway.) These sorts of people (workaholics) pretty much live to work. In fact- we feel more suicidal without it. For us- work is another distraction from life. It can even get us out of doing the normal stuff other people enjoy- socialising etc.

- Some people are very family orientated. They recognise that they need money to do nice things with their family- so- they get well paid jobs to support that. Plus, they do all they can to get a good work/life balance- they go part time or work from home.

- Some people I've known are obsessed with travelling or sports or a hobby. They work to fund those things but they don't become so identified with their job that it upsets them. They do their hours and then, go to the gym or whatever and they're always saving for their next holiday.

- Some people get on very well with their colleagues. If you're lucky enough to be in a good working environment, it can help. Even if the job is shitty, being with other people who hate it too and having a secret bitch about things can help!

- Some people are very good at getting what thry want out of a company. They'll fulfil their role but they'll make damn sure they get the company car, the bonuses and all the perks. Some employees exploit their employers just as much as the other way around!

I think when people are especially unhappy at work is:

- When they have a very strong desire to be doing something else. I experienced that- being stuck in retail and desperately wanting a creative job.

- When they know they aren't fulfilling their potential or, they are being exploited- which sadly- seems to happen in a lot of jobs.

- When they have nothing else to balance it with. Nothing to distract them from how much they hate the job and life.

Really though- I've found that positive emotions tend to be stimulated by contrast. Even for someone who enjoys their work, if they work for months on end doing long hours with no break (this is me also,) most people will tire of that. On the other hand- millionaires who don't have to work at all kill themselves sometimes! It's like- you can't appreciate the same thing if you do it all the time. Even if that thing is living the high life!

Sorry to pick on you. It's probably not your fault but- where is the contrast in your life? Do you have things you especially hate and especially enjoy or- is it all bland? It's a shit setup but the most amazing and relaxed I ever felt was when I quit a very stressful Head of Department job. It's like- if I hadn't had felt that stressed, overworked and utterly pissed off- I wouldn't have felt that hedonistic sense of relief when I quit! Not that that's a good thing of course!

As a lesser example, do you ever exercise? I'm trying to make an effort again this year. I hate it with a passion but I like the feeling when I've just finished it. It's messed up- but, sometimes we have to do stuff we hate in order to feel the reward afterwards. I guess the hope is that it won't become every day at work!

Really honestly though? I can't say I fully understand it either. Just certain types of jobs even. I've just done my tax return and I truly think I would kill myself if I was an accountant! We're all different though I guess- thankfully. Some people get satisfaction maybe from doing stuff like that! Good job we are all different. Imagine if we all liked and hated the same things. 8 billion people all after the same job role!

at the end of the day everything you've enjoyed in life is going to be taken away from you in a very short time indeed a very pointless and meaningless existence it is how anyone can't be depressed because of this fact is beyond me. If I had a choice, I would have chosen not to exist. Not everyone gets to live a happy life filled with meaning and purpose, but spend their entire lives searching for something that they never find. Years and years of unhappiness and loneliness cannot be wiped away with the few good moments that they get to experience once in a while; overall the pain outweighs the joy, and nothing can make up for that. For this reason also I will never have kids, I simply do not wish this kind of life on anyone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

What kind of creative job are you pursuing? Do you write? I think you express beautifully. There was another user. Great writer. I wish I had the calibre to write..

That's so kind of you. No, I don't write. I tend to keep it a bit vague on the main forum to be honest because creative jobs are so rare these days and I'm a bit concerned it might make it more obvious who I am. Not that I suspect there are people trying to find out but I guess, you never know! Sorry.

But yes, I think there are lots of creative people here. Lots of musicians since that Tantacrul video. I've read some really beautiful and profound posts in the past too. Definitely a lot of talented writers here.

 

[doneforlife]

That's so kind of you. No, I don't write. I tend to keep it a bit vague on the main forum to be honest because creative jobs are so rare these days and I'm a bit concerned it might make it more obvious who I am. Not that I suspect there are people trying to find out but I guess, you never know! Sorry.

But yes, I think there are lots of creative people here. Lots of musicians since that Tantacrul video. I've read some really beautiful and profound posts in the past too. Definitely a lot of talented writers here.

That's ok. I hope you succeed in whatever art form you are pursuing.

 

[Forever Sleep]

at the end of the day everything you've enjoyed in life is going to be taken away from you in a very short time indeed a very pointless and meaningless existence it is how anyone can't be depressed because of this fact is beyond me. If I had a choice, I would have chosen not to exist. Not everyone gets to live a happy life filled with meaning and purpose, but spend their entire lives searching for something that they never find. Years and years of unhappiness and loneliness cannot be wiped away with the few good moments that they get to experience once in a while; overall the pain outweighs the joy, and nothing can make up for that. For this reason also I will never have kids, I simply do not wish this kind of life on anyone.

True but, some people are very good at living in the moment. Would you prefer your time here to be filled with pain and misery or joy? Like you say- we're going to end up dead in the end anyway. Of course- incurable pain is something else though. That I imagine would hold most people back. My heart breaks for anyone in pain. I don't see how anyone can live reasonably with it.

Put it this way though- the most emotional pain I've felt in my life was when my Nana died when I was 10. We used to have the most wonderful holidays together in the Summer. She was my Mum's Mum. My Mum died when I was 3, so she was also my last major link to her. It still hurts so much when I think about them- over 30 years later. Would I be without that time though? No. It's bittersweet of course but I'm grateful I had that time.

Of course- I'm lucky to have at least some happy memories- along with all the sad ones but shit- if they had all been sad. I'd hope most parents and friends make the effort to create some good times at least.

Of course you'd prefer to not exist. So would I! I don't want to have to kill myself to get myself out of this. I don't want to live either. Still- we do exist. No amount of wishing is going to change that.

Some of us maybe feel like we can't make things better for ourselves and we don't even want to try. Which- is fair enough- it's our lives at the end of the day.

I agree with you too. I wouldn't want to bring children into this. I'm relieved to say though that the friends I know who do have children thankfully, don't think like us! As far as I can tell, they are investing their love and time into those children and they appear to be happy for now. Will that last? I don't know but- neither do you. Maybe when I've gone and their parents have gone, they will also look back and be grateful for the happy times they shared.

Not all parents are shit! But- with an attitude that it doesn't matter what level of happiness you experience in life because it will all end one day so- let's stick with being miserable- that child will likely grow up miserable. I'm so sorry if that was your experience. Not that I'm a natilist by any means but I'd hope at least that wasn't the average.

Besides- I won't let this 'be taken away from me.' Not slowly anyway. I don't intend to see old age and witness my body and mind fall apart. I'm hoping to end it long before then. So- it won't be a case of watching it all go to shit! I'm hoping I can leave on my own terms. Of course, other people will likely die before me- they'll be taken away and the grief will be terrible. So I agree- life can be shit but you won't be able to convince everyone that it is. That's up to them.

Put it another way- have you always felt this way about life? You seemed to be keen on programming. At that point in time, did you have the same nihilistic outlook? If you didn't- then- you likely have a much stronger grasp on how the normies see their lives.

 

[UKscotty]

Most people enjoy life and just get on with it.

However we frame it up, wanting to die and being depressed is not the normal way things are meant to be. I think its a good thing that only a tiny amount of people CTB.

I wish I could enjoy and thrive too but it's not meant to be. Most can recover but not all, I'm one of the few who cannot recover.

 

[bloodystarzklt]

ikr, it feels like everyday is the same and we're waiting for things that will never come

 

[Darkover]

life seems very boring, dull, and uninteresting.

 

[BehindTheWorld]

i've been feeling a lot like you do for a long time now. i hang around people who seem, on the surface, to be doing okay mentally. and when i spend time with them i feel like that too for a tiny tiny bit. it all fades away once my mind goes back to thinking about everything i have to endure in life.

some people are just cut for it. my father fought a war between the ages of 21-24. was homeless for years, and been working two jobs every day for the past 20+ years to sustain the family. and here I am, depressed and suicidal because i have to work one job and study for uni while not being homeless.

some people just have what it takes, we paint life as something trivial, something that's expected from you when it's really not. biologically only some are meant to carry on.

 

[caninecomposer]

The phrase "ignorance is bliss" is very applicable here. A lot of people are delusional and small-minded to the point of thinking that utterly meaningless things matter in the world, and they continue damaging their own brains daily with both alcohol and marijuana to truly ensure they don't develop the most basic intelligence. Then, if they were born into fortunate enough circumstances and never have to face real hardship, their existence is often never something they feel the need to cut short.