Venting I don't see myself living past this June

[thisIsNotEnough]

Why June? I'll be finishing the current highest level of college education I can achieve without moving cities. That obviously means that if I don't move cities, I won't continue receiving financial aid funds. By the way, online classes are not an option for the program I'm pursuing, and even if they were, my education costs would be higher at a 4-year university anyway to the point where I couldn't afford my expenses without also working, even with financial aid.

I recently became physically disabled (and mentally disabled to an extent) and unable to work. Despite all the testing I've had done and explanation of my symptoms and general condition, no doctors I've spoken to have any idea what is causing it. This means I will not be able to work for the foreseeable future.

So where does that leave me? Well, without a diagnosis, I will receive no income at all after June. I won't be able to pay for my basic necessities, let alone my hobbies that make life at least somewhat bearable in fleeting moments. At best I'll be dependent on others to meet my needs. At worst I'll end up on the street with nothing. Unless I can somehow magically recover, that is.

Not much of a life there. After all the shit I've been through I'm not willing to live that life. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. No. After everything I've been through, seriously? What a cruel joke.

 

[systemic_livestock]

Honestly the best advice to be given is try and reach out to anyone who can support you, ofc its easier said than done you might feel like a burden but if there is anyone who cares for you they will help, otherwise catching the bus might be youre only way out, I wish you the best <3

 

[thisIsNotEnough]

Honestly the best advice to be given is try and reach out to anyone who can support you, ofc its easier said than done you might feel like a burden but if there is anyone who cares for you they will help, otherwise catching the bus might be youre only way out, I wish you the best <3

Yeah there's not really much else you can say but I still appreciate it :)

I do have support rn. I have a really good deal on rent because they understand my circumstances. I guess I just worry that when I can't pay rent anymore, they won't be okay with fully burdening themselves with meeting my needs. And part of it is I feel bad for needing help with those things honestly and I'd rather unburden them sooner rather than later.

Plus there's the whole me being a lot younger than them thing, so even if they're willing to burden themselves with me for the rest of their life, at a certain point I'll be on my own and unable to support myself sooo yeah ctb is in my future no matter what

 

[systemic_livestock]

Yeah there's not really much else you can say but I still appreciate it :)

I do have support rn. I have a really good deal on rent because they understand my circumstances. I guess I just worry that when I can't pay rent anymore, they won't be okay with fully burdening themselves with meeting my needs. And part of it is I feel bad for needing help with those things honestly and I'd rather unburden them sooner rather than later.

Plus there's the whole me being a lot younger than them thing, so even if they're willing to burden themselves with me for the rest of their life, at a certain point I'll be on my own and unable to support myself sooo yeah ctb is in my future no matter what

I'm really glad to hear that, hopefully you get well enough to atlest work, is working from home not really an option. I hope you do better its not your fault at all you need their help and I hope you get better even as unrealistic as it sounds

 

[Arvayn]

The societal system we live in is absolutely horrible. There is hardly any reason one can give for why basic necessities aren't free when we actually overproduce more food and clothing than humanity requires (other than, of course, making money and keeping the people's welfare closely dependent on the state). You don't want to be productive? Then die. You CAN'T be productive? Too bad, you die anyway, unless you find someone in the position to help you.

I do not think there are any words I can even give here that might help, because this doesn't seem to be a matter of feelings as much as it is a matter of resources and circumstances. You have my deepest hopes that some miracle will happen and you'll end up in a serviceable position.

 

[catzy]

Why June? I'll be finishing the current highest level of college education I can achieve without moving cities. That obviously means that if I don't move cities, I won't continue receiving financial aid funds. By the way, online classes are not an option for the program I'm pursuing, and even if they were, my education costs would be higher at a 4-year university anyway to the point where I couldn't afford my expenses without also working, even with financial aid.

I recently became physically disabled (and mentally disabled to an extent) and unable to work. Despite all the testing I've had done and explanation of my symptoms and general condition, no doctors I've spoken to have any idea what is causing it. This means I will not be able to work for the foreseeable future.

So where does that leave me? Well, without a diagnosis, I will receive no income at all after June. I won't be able to pay for my basic necessities, let alone my hobbies that make life at least somewhat bearable in fleeting moments. At best I'll be dependent on others to meet my needs. At worst I'll end up on the street with nothing. Unless I can somehow magically recover, that is.

Not much of a life there. After all the shit I've been through I'm not willing to live that life. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. No. After everything I've been through, seriously? What a cruel joke.

Ugh im sorry. I cant with this existance