Venting I don't see any other option other than CTB.

[De4dX3nd]

Hi everyone. The new year just started and it's already going to hell. I lost my closest friend, someone who I've known for 10+ years because of a stupid mistake I've made.
Before he cut me off he sent me a message and it just hurts reading it. But the way he worded it made it seem like it wasn't forever, That we'll patch things up eventually.
But nothing ever goes right for me. He wants me to see things through, he says he knows I'm strong, and that I'm a good person. But I'm not all those things. I want to change, but is change even possible for someone like me? I've been straight-up ghosting my other friends because I can't bring myself to talk to them. I'm scared of messing up again. The only option I see for someone like me is CTB and finally finding peace. But. for some reason I want to be proven wrong. My thoughts are a mess and everythings spinning. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[shocksites]

I know that feeling all too well. I hope you find a way to feel comfortable again. I hope something can prove you wrong.

 

[danny10]

Hi everyone. The new year just started and it's already going to hell. I lost my closest friend, someone who I've known for 10+ years because of a stupid mistake I've made.
Before he cut me off he sent me a message and it just hurts reading it. But the way he worded it made it seem like it wasn't forever, That we'll patch things up eventually.
But nothing ever goes right for me. He wants me to see things through, he says he knows I'm strong, and that I'm a good person. But I'm not all those things. I want to change, but is change even possible for someone like me? I've been straight-up ghosting my other friends because I can't bring myself to talk to them. I'm scared of messing up again. The only option I see for someone like me is CTB and finally finding peace. But. for some reason I want to be proven wrong. My thoughts are a mess and everythings spinning. I don't know what to do anymore.

Hi there. It is non of my business whether you do CTB or not, I am just sharing my opinion: Yes, you can change, yes, circumstances do change. Just because your closest friend cut you off, I think it's too early to think about CTB. As you also mentioned, you can patch things up and if you do, eventually your friendship will be even stronger. Try to apologise to your friend, you might see that it works. You can also "unghost" your other friends. Do talk to them. Some might even be a good listener and understand you perfectly. In any case, if you need to talk to someone, I am always available through DM. Best of luck to you.