That's it. I've just felt like a burden for years, I hate my life, I've never been able to be happy since I was 10 years old and yet I can't end it all. Well, I can. However, someone is stopping me, and not directly, but because they know how my death would affect her, and I don't want to hurt my girlfriend in any way. I met her a few months ago, we talk about the future, we plan things together and I love her so much, and I know it's mutual, but I can't imagine a future in which I'm happy. Oh, and yes. My girlfriend knows about all this, I met her just by commenting about it on a social network (funny way, I know). Anyway, what I mean is; I don't know how to kill myself without destroying her life. You might even argue that I'm not important enough to go to that length, and I would agree, But everything leads me to believe that I'm wrong and that I would ruin her life with this. I don't know what to do and, at the same time that I feel happy every time I'm around her, I'm always thinking about that. I genuinely wish I could erase my existence from people's minds and just die somewhere they would never find me. Rot in a forest, away from everyone and without causing trouble. I feel genuinely lost in life, and a real failure. This is the only place I can really express my frustration, although I'm still a bit afraid.
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needthebus
Voted SaSu™ Member Most Likely to Succeed
- Apr 29, 2024
- 771
that's awful
there's no easy solution to this
i bet you are totally hot and she's madly in love with you and will just be destroyed if you die
you could try ketamine? for treatment resistant depression?
Actually, I don't have that much self-esteem. I don't think I'm hot, bro, but I know I still make her happy.
I've never been able to see a psychologist/psychiatrist due to the prices in my country, so I may not be able to get treatment for the next few years. But I really want to try.
The question is whether I will be able to maintain my sanity until then, at least to the point of not ending everything.Similar threads
