Venting I don’t relate to people on this site

[FuneralCry]

Not that I even want to anyway but to me it feels like this place is now all about what those in the media think and trying to please those people rather than this being a place to support the right to die and a place to let suicidal people vent openly. I know that my personal feelings on this probably aren't allowed to be expressed which just proves what I'm trying to say further but I just don't relate to the people on here. In the past this place felt like more of a safe space for those who suffer but at times now it often feels like the same as anywhere else which is sad to me but anyway I'm not even surprised, I don't understand those who say things like this is a judgement free place.

It just often feels less pro-choice to me with people trying to push their positivity platitudes and unsolicted advice in threads that weren't even asking for it in the first place, I wish that this section was a safe space to let suffering people vent openly without others trying to convince them to think differently.

I just don't relate to the worship of life in general, it's something I could never understand as existence will always be very undesirable to me, I despise something so dreadful and harmful as existence. I wish suicide is always accepted as a personal choice as that's what it is, not something for other people to decide, despite what others like to say my wish to die could never be an "illness" rather it's all that makes sense to me, it's not an illness to want to permanently escape from all suffering.

 

[Soontobegoner]

Frankly i never loved life myself. At most in its heydays... It was bearable and sometimes pleasant but mostly incomprehensible to me
.. A mystery i always failed to understand as well as people's desire to go on.

I always failed those social cues one require to pass through in life.

But being spiritual i sort of understand one purpose from it... I truly believe in theory of Karma and incarnation... I did my share of spiritual quest.

I also believe this all supposed to mean something which I failed and now I am tired and wish to give up. I dread as per theory I have to go through this shit again until I pass the test I supposed to.

By lord I tried all I could and failed in all the venture. My another dread is that I don't want to fail in suicide and end up being bigger weight on people.

 

[rozeske]

Am so sorry you are suffering this much. I really wish this place gave you the comfort and safety it did in your earlier times here. When I read your earlier threads it makes hope things change for the better and you get the comfort and support you used to get from this place until you finally find your peace. Wishing you all the best

 

[Dliena]

I hope you can find true solace and peace someday @FuneralCry. And very sorry it's gotten this bad for ya.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm sorry for your suffering. I'm just scared of death otherwise I would be gone :(

 

[fuzzy-clown]

Maybe you can start another forum with some people wanting the same as you

 

[4.I.2.Must.Die]

I think the point is more that she thinks this place isn't as good as it used to be (which isn't true) and that she reluctantly stays because anywhere else would only totally discourage suicide and would probably ban her due to being considered pro-death. The reality is she'll never know just how lucky she is to have this place and she gets very upset when it gets attacked by the pesky DDOS. These are the only threads of hers that I roll my eyes at but as long as people recognise how her autism affects her and that she's mostly harmless then hopefully arguements and backlashes don't break out and lead to the thread being locked or deleted.