Venting I don't recognize myself.

[Yozo_oba]

I don't recognize this body I'm in. Everytime I look into the mirror my face and body just looks wrong but I don't know what it is. Honestly it makes me want to punch the mirror so I don't huve to look at it anymore. But I just don't like seeing my reflection in general. this body and face is just too ugly to want to look at anyways. But for some reason I just stare at it, takeing in every single detail, and It always looks so fucking weird. Idk how to fix thi problem but tbh I kinda don't want to fix it, because I don't want to believe what I'm seeing is actually me. (Kind of a messy explanation, sorry if it made no sense lol)

 

[Fwompje]

I'm not going to armchair diagnose you but I have similar symptoms and for me it's related to depersonalization. Almost everyone experiences it at some point in their life, usually because of stress. There's great tips online for grounding yourself back to reality.

 

[Scacie]

I don't too, and yea it sounds like depersonalization. Personally I find it helps alot to avoid mirrors since it usually sends me spiraling. I also broken more than a few mirrors in my house lmao

 

[AngryDog]

I don't recognize this body I'm in. Everytime I look into the mirror my face and body just looks wrong but I don't know what it is. Honestly it makes me want to punch the mirror so I don't huve to look at it anymore. But I just don't like seeing my reflection in general. this body and face is just too ugly to want to look at anyways. But for some reason I just stare at it, takeing in every single detail, and It always looks so fucking weird. Idk how to fix thi problem but tbh I kinda don't want to fix it, because I don't want to believe what I'm seeing is actually me. (Kind of a messy explanation, sorry if it made no sense lol)

It sounds like a bad case of body dysmorphia. Don't beat yourself too hard. Most of the time, those imperfections you notice are minimal or even non existent. Try to put things into perspective. Putting those feelings into words is helpful as a first step. You can discuss them with someone you trust, if you feel like it, of course. Sometimes our brain is pretty shitty towards our self esteem and makes us feel uglier than we really are.

I wish you to have a nice day.

 

[Yozo_oba]

It sounds like a bad case of body dysmorphia. Don't beat yourself too hard. Most of the time, those imperfections you notice are minimal or even non existent. Try to put things into perspective. Putting those feelings into words is helpful as a first step. You can discuss them with someone you trust, if you feel like it, of course. Sometimes our brain is pretty shitty towards our self esteem and makes us feel uglier than we really are.

I wish you to have a nice day.

thank you! i hope u have a nice day too :)

 

[gh0sttx]

i relate to that a lot!!
i can't stand seeing my face, when i look in the mirror it's starting to transform into something so painfully ugly it's making me wanna vomit. like literally lmao.
i hope it'll get better for you!! wish you the best :)

 

[Octavia]

This sounds like a familiar experience to me as well, I always remembered seeing a weird stranger whenever I looked at a mirror prior to my gender transition. They were not ugly per say, but I still felt like throwing up whenever I looked at them for some reasons. I am now more okay with seeing my reflection, although that I am often upset by small imperfections that I perceive.

 

[Walpurgisnacht]

Mm, I hate mirrors too. If I ever walk past something reflective I hold my hand up to my face so I don't have to see it.
My body is disgusting, but I can hide it well enough with clothing, but unfortunately I can't hide my face.
I relate to what you say about not wanting to accept what you're seeing is you, I have some disconnect with that too. I can logically see it and refer to it as "me" but it doesn't feel right, I just know that's what everyone else expects so I go along with it.