Pancake1230
<3
- May 17, 2024
- 56
Sorry if this is confusing. I feel worried about my plan.
I know I want to ctb between tomorrow and the 24th, and I was gonna get a ticket and go to Miami for 2 days and see the beach one more time (I love the beach), then ctb at the end of day 2. But I've never gone anywhere so far by myself, and I feel like I don't deserve to die somewhere nice.
I feel like I should just die in the hotel I'm getting tomorrow, idk (before I get on the plane, I'll was gonna make it look like I was going to work, this way I won't have to sneak out early in the morning). I really deserve to die in a ditch or a dirty alleyway.
What right do I have to spend money and go far away to see something that will make me happy when all I've been is a burden to others my whole life? What right do I have to enjoy myself before I die knowing that my death will make people sad?
I don't know. I want to go though. My stomach feels like its going to implode.
I need someone else's opinion please
I know I want to ctb between tomorrow and the 24th, and I was gonna get a ticket and go to Miami for 2 days and see the beach one more time (I love the beach), then ctb at the end of day 2. But I've never gone anywhere so far by myself, and I feel like I don't deserve to die somewhere nice.
I feel like I should just die in the hotel I'm getting tomorrow, idk (before I get on the plane, I'll was gonna make it look like I was going to work, this way I won't have to sneak out early in the morning). I really deserve to die in a ditch or a dirty alleyway.
What right do I have to spend money and go far away to see something that will make me happy when all I've been is a burden to others my whole life? What right do I have to enjoy myself before I die knowing that my death will make people sad?
I don't know. I want to go though. My stomach feels like its going to implode.
I need someone else's opinion please
