Venting i don’t know what to do anymore

[suicidalandsad27]

God I am so tired. I almost attempted CTB yesterday. My shitty boyfriend only wants to talk about his dumbass OCs and sex. My closest friend lives across the country. My parents won't acknowledge me being trans after I've came out to them like 7 times. Not to mention the constant hate on LGBT people. I'm so fucking sick of hearing about his goddamn characters and their sex lives!! I've done everything for other people and now I want to do something for myself. I don't know how to get past the fear and mental block, though. If there is a God out there I'm just praying there is a heaven or a peaceful end for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do get that it's really so awful feeling trapped here when you just wish to be gone, I hate how difficult it is to finally leave. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[SwimmingBl1mp]

God I am so tired. I almost attempted CTB yesterday. My shitty boyfriend only wants to talk about his dumbass OCs and sex. My closest friend lives across the country. My parents won't acknowledge me being trans after I've came out to them like 7 times. Not to mention the constant hate on LGBT people. I'm so fucking sick of hearing about his goddamn characters and their sex lives!! I've done everything for other people and now I want to do something for myself. I don't know how to get past the fear and mental block, though. If there is a God out there I'm just praying there is a heaven or a peaceful end for me.

show this to your boyfriend, or tell him (or write if you feel more comfortable this way) how you feel. About your parents I can't really help you appart form telling you to move out as soon as you can.
However if nothing works out, SN is there for you

 

[suicidalandsad27]

show this to your boyfriend, or tell him (or write if you feel more comfortable this way) how you feel. About your parents I can't really help you appart form telling you to move out as soon as you can.
However if nothing works out, SN is there for you

I can't seem to get SN without suspicion arising. Are there any at-home methods? I have prozac, and abilify but I'm scared to overdose because I've heard if you fail it's quite painful and I don't exactly have a high pain tolerance. I also have a belt, a bathtub, and things similar to beanbags for the night-night method. Which one do you recommend if nothing works?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

OD will probably only cause pain and no success. The other methods are reasonbale, you can investigate about them which would suit you desires best. I fell sorry that your life is so horrible for you. All the best!

 

[SwimmingBl1mp]

I can't seem to get SN without suspicion arising. Are there any at-home methods? I have prozac, and abilify but I'm scared to overdose because I've heard if you fail it's quite painful and I don't exactly have a high pain tolerance. I also have a belt, a bathtub, and things similar to beanbags for the night-night method. Which one do you recommend if nothing works?

well if you have some freedom of movement you can contact dealers for the metoclopramide and you can find SN pretty easily, look for stores that sell it on google and go buy some after class or when you have time. hanging yourself can be extremely painful if you die by suffocation, however if you manage to hang yourelf high enough the drop can break your neck and that's instant death. you can also try to get xanax and OD with that, the deadly dose depends on your weight and age and health but 25 to 30mg can do the trick if you're a teenage that's not overweight

 

[Vizzy]

well if you have some freedom of movement you can contact dealers for the metoclopramide and you can find SN pretty easily, look for stores that sell it on google and go buy some after class or when you have time. hanging yourself can be extremely painful if you die by suffocation, however if you manage to hang yourelf high enough the drop can break your neck and that's instant death. you can also try to get xanax and OD with that, the deadly dose depends on your weight and age and health but 25 to 30mg can do the trick if you're a teenage that's not overweight

Xanax overdose death is unlikely don't do it, Xanax alone not gonna kill

You need to add in a opioid, seductive or depressant drugs and alcohol to ctb using Xanax overdose, hanging is not painful if done correctly, you can try partial hanging, breaking your neck won't give you instant death

People do more research before advising or to do ctb!

 

[andaira2k]

Hey Spooky,
maybe go and try to talk to your boyfriend again and try to figure things out. If he doesn't show support or understanding, he might just not be the right for you. Have you talked to your closest friend about your situation?
And I don't really know how to solve the problem with you and your parents, but maybe try to spend some fun time, instead of bringing up the "critical problems", as you've already mentioned, that they won't understand that.
And of course you can always get into new circles (for example by joining clubs, etc.) and try to meet new people that will make you happy.
I wish you the best of luck :)

 

[SwimmingBl1mp]

Xanax overdose death is unlikely don't do it, Xanax alone not gonna kill

You need to add in a opioid, seductive or depressant drugs and alcohol to ctb using Xanax overdose, hanging is not painful if done correctly, you can try partial hanging, breaking your neck won't give you instant death

People do more research before advising or to do ctb!

I did do reaserch and i may be wrong about the xanax but I have already verified : suffocation is painful, and dropping yourself while hung will break the cervical vertebrae and instantly make you loose conciousness

 

[Vizzy]

I did do reaserch and i may be wrong about the xanax but I have already verified : suffocation is painful, and dropping yourself while hung will break the cervical vertebrae and instantly make you loose conciousness

You don't, necessarily. When the spinal cord is severed at a high point it may traumatize the brain stem, which can result in near-instant loss of consciousness and cessation of breathing.

A little lower and the brain stem may be undamaged but nerves which play a role in the autonomic nervous system may be damaged - these nerves help regulate many bodily functions including breathing, heartrate, and blood pressure.

The result may be apnea, a cessation of breathing, or "spinal shock," a drop in heartrate, blood pressure, loss of bowel and bladder control, sweating and loss of motor function, which untreated can be fatal.

But the neck can also be broken low enough or in a manner in which autonomic functions are retained, with the severity ranging from pain (and great risk of subsequent damage to spinal nerves from positional trauma and bone shards or swelling and compression) to varying degrees of paralysis of voluntary motor function as well as voluntary control over breathing etc.

A patient may have a broken neck or back and be upright and walking around only to lose their life or control of their limbs later. They do not necessarily even feel pain, as adrenaline may mask pain or relevant nerves may not be functioning properly.

This is one reason victims of trauma such as traffic accidents or falls are routinely placed in spinal immobilization until x-rays can confirm they are not in danger.

 

[SwimmingBl1mp]

You don't, necessarily. When the spinal cord is severed at a high point it may traumatize the brain stem, which can result in near-instant loss of consciousness and cessation of breathing.

A little lower and the brain stem may be undamaged but nerves which play a role in the autonomic nervous system may be damaged - these nerves help regulate many bodily functions including breathing, heartrate, and blood pressure.

The result may be apnea, a cessation of breathing, or "spinal shock," a drop in heartrate, blood pressure, loss of bowel and bladder control, sweating and loss of motor function, which untreated can be fatal.

But the neck can also be broken low enough or in a manner in which autonomic functions are retained, with the severity ranging from pain (and great risk of subsequent damage to spinal nerves from positional trauma and bone shards or swelling and compression) to varying degrees of paralysis of voluntary motor function as well as voluntary control over breathing etc.

A patient may have a broken neck or back and be upright and walking around only to lose their life or control of their limbs later. They do not necessarily even feel pain, as adrenaline may mask pain or relevant nerves may not be functioning properly.

This is one reason victims of trauma such as traffic accidents or falls are routinely placed in spinal immobilization until x-rays can confirm they are not in danger.

oh okay, thanks for clarifying