Venting I .. don't know what to do anymore.

[Worsethangarbage]

@frank630 @Noiseless why are you here then?

 

[Nephis]

@frank630 @Noiseless why are you here then?

Because i let that numbness consume me so now i have another problem then what i had before now i feel near nothing i dont feel happy i don't feel pain i couldn't care less of others except unless my habit of answering questions becomes apart of it thats all

~Well you could also include the fact that i hate this world and it's so called society but thats also only part of it i would need a few paragraphs of which i'm to tired to write

 

[frank630]

The same as @Noiseless answer and I know everything will just get worse. I will get worse because I'm like this. I can feel rarely but when I do it is only irritation or hate.

 

[Worsethangarbage]

@frank630 @Noiseless and why do you think i am any different...because I am in the same boat...feeling anything rarely. Irritation is the only thing that's with me.

 

[Worsethangarbage]

While I don't hate the society, I genuinely don't like the idea of being a part of it. I have to work 10x harder than anyone else in my class (except maybe a few?) to get anywhere because of my background. People say education and opportunities are getting more and it's not that hard to rise up from the bottom are fucking delusional. I am in shit country with shit parents in a shit family with a shit past that leads to where I am now and I have no future if any. Sure, I can become self supporting but that's not the point. What I want to do will be out of my reach because duh you need money to do that. Should I wait until 30-35 when I am able to do those shit? But what's the point of suffering for so long?

 

[Nephis]

While I don't hate the society, I genuinely don't like the idea of being a part of it. I have to work 10x harder than anyone else in my class (except maybe a few?) to get anywhere because of my background. People say education and opportunities are getting more and it's not that hard to rise up from the bottom are fucking delusional. I am in shit country with shit parents in a shit family with a shit past that leads to where I am now and I have no future if any. Sure, I can become self supporting but that's not the point. What I want to do will be out of my reach because duh you need money to do that. Should I wait until 30-35 when I am able to do those shit? But what's the point of suffering for so long?

I'm saying this idea can work for you because you said only for a few years not a dozen during this time you don't suffer you simply don't feel anything

 

[Worsethangarbage]

I'm saying this idea can work for you because you said only for a few years not a dozen during this time you don't suffer you simply don't feel anything

And that's why I am trying to kill myself here or at least that's how my first attempt was. I tried cutting but didn't feel anything so dunno if that's good since I didn't cut after because there was nothing to gain. Partial was a bit weird because of survival instinct that are involuntary same with drowning.

 

[Worsethangarbage]

I wish I hadn't done that tbh. Should have researched more and tried something better since that put my family on suicide watch and now I don't have access to any chemicals or stuff .

 

[Nephis]

I wish I hadn't done that tbh. Should have researched more and tried something better since that put my family on suicide watch and now I don't have access to any chemicals or stuff .

Cutting doesn't work it's only seen as a cry for help

 

[Worsethangarbage]

Cutting doesn't work it's only seen as a cry for help

Oh, I didn't cut to suicide. Just to feel something since I was feeling super numb for a week or so before.

 

[21Neberg]

Oh, I didn't cut to suicide. Just to feel something since I was feeling super numb for a week or so before.

I cut myself too! Its so fucking great to see the blood come up. Cutting to CTB isn't effective at all - in fact it is most likely to fail yet the most painful. Not recommended at all.

 

[Nephis]

Oh, I didn't cut to suicide. Just to feel something since I was feeling super numb for a week or so before.

That's my only advice it isn't the only advice but it's my own I will say though at this point there is no reason not to try and instead of cutting use a pin I already was at that stage believe me a pin is better although I recommend you stop giving your self reasons to not try something for me this way of doing things was a temporary fix to a permanent problem yours however is temporary if you do want to know a way of getting through your issue this was it this will be work for you for about 3-5 years before you simply truly feel nothing anymore good luck