Help I don't know what to do about this anxiety that is consuming me. Please help me. Please boost. I'm desperate.

[beyondbreath]

I've done everything right. I saw the therapists and counselors and did the group therapy. I did CBT, I was an inpatient, I have taken many different meds, prayer, but I still suffer every single day from anxiety. I SUFFER. And people, the system, doesn't care because I'm functional. Because I can get up and go to work, and clean myself and eat, I'm not a priority. I'm a "success".


Why isn't my suffering something that matters??? I'm working and I got a diploma and a degree, and I get up every day. So therefore, it just doesn't count I guess. The fact that deep inside anxiety continues to destroy me despite the use of "coping strategies" is swept under the rug. It's hell. And I have to push it all down until it all boils over once every whatever number of months and I have a small breakdown over something and just can't do it anymore. Then I get up and go to work the next day. And there's no support.


The system isn't about helping us. It isn't about ending our suffering. It's about making sure we are ready to go, cogs in the machine. Are you able to fulfill your expected role? Then you don't get any help, unless you can pay for outside help (Ontario health insurance covers very little mental health service). Sit down, shut up, and work. We don't care about your tears.


Guys, what am I supposed to do? It's killing me silently. Anxiety is just killing me. And any help I try to get is just the same rehashed bullshit over and over again. It feels like only a lobotomy can help me at this point. I'm 28. I live on my own, I work, I am alive somehow. God, I'm alive. But I can't handle this on my own. But there's no help because I'm functional and not about to step off a tall building.

 

[hoppybunny]

I've done everything right. I saw the therapists and counselors and did the group therapy. I did CBT, I was an inpatient, I have taken many different meds, prayer, but I still suffer every single day from anxiety. I SUFFER. And people, the system, doesn't care because I'm functional. Because I can get up and go to work, and clean myself and eat, I'm not a priority. I'm a "success".


Why isn't my suffering something that matters??? I'm working and I got a diploma and a degree, and I get up every day. So therefore, it just doesn't count I guess. The fact that deep inside anxiety continues to destroy me despite the use of "coping strategies" is swept under the rug. It's hell. And I have to push it all down until it all boils over once every whatever number of months and I have a small breakdown over something and just can't do it anymore. Then I get up and go to work the next day. And there's no support.


The system isn't about helping us. It isn't about ending our suffering. It's about making sure we are ready to go, cogs in the machine. Are you able to fulfill your expected role? Then you don't get any help, unless you can pay for outside help (Ontario health insurance covers very little mental health service). Sit down, shut up, and work. We don't care about your tears.


Guys, what am I supposed to do? It's killing me silently. Anxiety is just killing me. And any help I try to get is just the same rehashed bullshit over and over again. It feels like only a lobotomy can help me at this point. I'm 28. I live on my own, I work, I am alive somehow. God, I'm alive. But I can't handle this on my own. But there's no help because I'm functional and not about to step off a tall building.

Gosh so sorry you're going through this. I'm also someone with anxiety that *was functional. I wish i could offer real advice. But all i can offer is my well wishes.

It's a shame that ppl don't care about ppl who are suffering in silence. They only care when you're actively suicidal or no longer functioning cause now you are a burden or can no longer contribute your labour.

If you don't mind sharing, could you dhare what kind of anxiety you have? Also have the healthcare professionals checked to make sure what you're experiencing is truly anxiety and not anxiety as a symptom of something else like adhd, or even like arhytmia or something? Not to dismiss your efforts that you've tried everything.

 

[Wolf-Alice]

Maybe you're doing too much and focusing too much on productivity? Sorry if this is all redundant, but spending time with nature or with simple hobbies/games can be soothing. Things that turn your brain off for a while.
Maybe involving yourself with group volunteering work (I went gardening for example) can help by making you feel connected to others and doing something to achieve a straightforward goal.
Wishing you all the best. I hope you can also find pride in your strength and independence. Many people can't sustain themselves, and no support can change that.

 

[beyondbreath]

Gosh so sorry you're going through this. I'm also someone with anxiety that *was functional. I wish i could offer real advice. But all i can offer is my well wishes.

It's a shame that ppl don't care about ppl who are suffering in silence. They only care when you're actively suicidal or no longer functioning cause now you are a burden or can no longer contribute your labour.

If you don't mind sharing, could you dhare what kind of anxiety you have? Also have the healthcare professionals checked to make sure what you're experiencing is truly anxiety and not anxiety as a symptom of something else like adhd, or even like arhytmia or something? Not to dismiss your efforts that you've tried everything.

Thank you! I've had blood tests done and was also diagnosed officially with an anxiety disorder.


My anxiety on the daily is mostly around safety. So for example constant concern for the safety of my cat, concern about the fear of losing my job, becoming homeless, things like that. I can talk on the phone fine, go to work, etc. it's really difficult to struggle with the anxiety I have, though, because it's real fears, things that could really happen.

Maybe you're doing too much and focusing too much on productivity? Sorry if this is all redundant, but spending time with nature or with simple hobbies/games can be soothing. Things that turn your brain off for a while.
Maybe involving yourself with group volunteering work (I went gardening for example) can help by making you feel connected to others and doing something to achieve a straightforward goal.
Wishing you all the best. I hope you can also find pride in your strength and independence. Many people can't sustain themselves, and no support can change that.

I try my best to turn myself off and relax when I can. When I get home from work I am exhausted and read or watch videos. Since I'm depressed though I don't take a lot of joy on things anymore. I've considered volunteering, maybe more opportunities will come up in the spring.

 

[hoppybunny]

Thank you! I've had blood tests done and was also diagnosed officially with an anxiety disorder.


My anxiety on the daily is mostly around safety. So for example constant concern for the safety of my cat, concern about the fear of losing my job, becoming homeless, things like that. I can talk on the phone fine, go to work, etc. it's really difficult to struggle with the anxiety I have, though, because it's real fears, things that could really happen.

That sucks. So sorry. I hope you can find a medication or a form of therapy that can help. You said you're also depressed too. I'm guessing treatment for it hasn't helped either? Cause treating ur depression may help with the anxiety.

 

[etherealgoddess]

I've done everything right. I saw the therapists and counselors and did the group therapy. I did CBT, I was an inpatient, I have taken many different meds, prayer, but I still suffer every single day from anxiety. I SUFFER. And people, the system, doesn't care because I'm functional. Because I can get up and go to work, and clean myself and eat, I'm not a priority. I'm a "success".


Why isn't my suffering something that matters??? I'm working and I got a diploma and a degree, and I get up every day. So therefore, it just doesn't count I guess. The fact that deep inside anxiety continues to destroy me despite the use of "coping strategies" is swept under the rug. It's hell. And I have to push it all down until it all boils over once every whatever number of months and I have a small breakdown over something and just can't do it anymore. Then I get up and go to work the next day. And there's no support.


The system isn't about helping us. It isn't about ending our suffering. It's about making sure we are ready to go, cogs in the machine. Are you able to fulfill your expected role? Then you don't get any help, unless you can pay for outside help (Ontario health insurance covers very little mental health service). Sit down, shut up, and work. We don't care about your tears.


Guys, what am I supposed to do? It's killing me silently. Anxiety is just killing me. And any help I try to get is just the same rehashed bullshit over and over again. It feels like only a lobotomy can help me at this point. I'm 28. I live on my own, I work, I am alive somehow. God, I'm alive. But I can't handle this on my own. But there's no help because I'm functional and not about to step off a tall building.

Stronger medication? Just up the medication to some crazy amount. Somatic healing also helped me deal with the root issue, but it's also really hard to do. But it does work.

 

[DeadManLiving]

Chronic Debilitating Anxiety is lethal

 

[Fresh Soju]

What type of anxiety is it, if you know?
I have various forms of anxiety, and the treatment (never a cure, though) of each varies depending on the type.

I can feel chronic, deliberating anxiety that keeps getting worse from being overstimulated. I often don't know why until it's been a few days or weeks and it's gotten extremely bad to the point of bordering on panic attacks all the time.
What helps me here is trying to isolate myself from the stimulation and perhaps reduce caffeine and maybe go on a keto diet.
Exercise here can either help or backfire I've noticed.

Then there's PTSD-based anxiety which is hell on earth and harder to deal with.
A lot of journalling, writing, telling myself I am safe over and over and over, keto, caffeine reduction can help.
Exercise does seem to help me here, as I channel that negative energy into the exercise itself.

Then there's regular anxiety, which is still hard but the easiest to deal with imo.
Mainly it revolves around doing the thing I am anxious about in a safe space, if possible. If not, then just try it in a potentially unsafe environment and hope for the best.
This is stuff like talking to people, public speaking, meeting new people etc etc.
Just keep doing that thing over and over and it becomes way easier with it. Only downside I've noticed is that I need to maintain the "practice" of doing said things, since if I stop for too long the anxiety will creep back in.

--

I've also found that radical acceptance can be a big help no matter what.
It's incredibly hard to practice this, but when it works, it works really well.
I essentially get so tired of being anxious about something that my body just gives up or stops caring and the anxiety diminishes a lot.
e.g. I can have someone attempt at my life again > Intense anxiety outside non-stop > Eventually I just hope they kill me or I stop giving a care because being in anxiety non-stop is worse than them killing me > less anxiety. (Weird ik)