I don't know how to accept my existence

[Butterfly-death]

The realization hits me that I'm trapped in this life with no way out. I have no access to good methods. It's actually so painful and terrifying. Not having a method is more scary than the act of ctb itself. If my life gets worse than it already is I just have to live through it. That's such bs. I'm scared of my future and I don't want to be around for it. I don't know what to do. The best I can do is hope I don't wake up tomorrow but that's wishful thinking, I will. Some people find comfort in knowing you're not alone and suffering together but I hate it. I feel worse knowing that there are other people out there suffering so much and not having a way out. I don't even know anymore. I'm so emotionally exhausted. I guess I have to accept it but I don't want to. If you relate, I'm so sorry I hope we all find peace (for me that would only be death so hopefully I die soon).

 

[hoppybunny]

The realization hits me that I'm trapped in this life with no way out. I have no access to good methods. It's actually so painful and terrifying. Not having a method is more scary than the act of ctb itself. If my life gets worse than it already is I just have to live through it. That's such bs. I'm scared of my future and I don't want to be around for it. I don't know what to do. The best I can do is hope I don't wake up tomorrow but that's wishful thinking, I will. Some people find comfort in knowing you're not alone and suffering together but I hate it. I feel worse knowing that there are other people out there suffering so much and not having a way out. I don't even know anymore. I'm so emotionally exhausted. I guess I have to accept it but I don't want to. If you relate, I'm so sorry I hope we all find peace (for me that would only be death so hopefully I die soon).

So sorry. I hope you find a peaceful method. and go out peacefully.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Agreed. Life can feel like a hostage situation. It is a sort of horror that can come over us when it feels like there's no way out.

Not that I'm trying to encourage you but, is there really no way you could obtain a method? I was able to get SN. So, I feel like there is a risky exit there. I hate it all though. I feel so much fear and resentment about it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you feel so trapped in existence. I agree, peaceful suicide methods are nearly inaccessible and suicide isn't an accepted thing in our society either. Depending on how old you are - how feasible are "solutions"? Things in life can always change - it may look secure but suddenly turns insecure and vice versa for example. It really sucks.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling trapped in this existence, I also just wish for the peace of never existing again and it feels so cruel to me how I cannot just die painlessly in an guaranteed way, I suffer so much from lacking the option to simply cease existing, I certainly understand it's so dreadful and torturous feeling stuck here. But anyway I wish you the best.