Venting I don’t know how much longer I can do this

[geo]

This life is absolutely exhausting, and I'm not even doing anything. I haven't even been in skl. I'm sick of constantly feeling alright only to slip and feel absolutely awful for months at a time. Before it used to be more manageable, I could bottle it up, or ignore the voices (I have psychosis), but now it's constantly messing with me, external voices and my own. It doesn't help that my meds make me tired.

I just don't want to keep on this spiral of feeling a bit of hope and then eventually everything comes crashing down. I cry everyday, I'm just in a lot of pain. I wish I wasn't like this- and I know sometimes things get better for people, but it's getting difficult to see any end. Especially since the episodes keep getting longer. I'm just so tired all the time. I hate getting out of bed, I just want to sleep all the time which isn't possible. When I sleep I don't have to feel. This not a life I want to keep living. Something needs to change…

 

[kinoki]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm here for you and I'm welcoming you with open arms. I understand things are hard right now, and it seems like your psychosis might be spiralling. I suffer from BPD and Bipolar 1, I don't know all of your symptoms but I cannot maybe a bit. It doesn't hurt to go to the mental hospital, even if it's not the best place. Please take of yourself .

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I understand finding it painful to exist, I also feel so tired of it all. But anyway I wish you the best.