Venting I don't feel like living my life

[3xplo]

I've been dumped again yesterday. When I live with someone, in relationships, I live their life - it kinda helped. But I'm not able to have a long relationship with anyone, be it romantic or friendship. People lose interest in me, and are turned off by me being pessimistic, low-energy and dragging them down. I understand them. But the thing is - I don't want to change. This worlds asks too much of me, and I don't feel like I want to join the "fun". I'm 37, I've experienced enough. The only thing I'm waiting is to see how AI will change the world in the next 5 years. I hope some AI gets control over the world without humans controlling it, and either fixes the world, or kills everyone, or at least me. But I'm very close to just ending my life myself. I don't have friend or a partner. I'm spending my time distracting myself from thinking about life. I hate working, but I do the minimum to either not get fired or at least prolong being paid. If I lose my job, I will ask dad for money, and if he won't help, I'll just get a bank debts, I don't care what happens with me. I hate this.

 

[Kittywuzhere.]

I think the important thing is to take care of yourself before getting into a relationship, it's hard to claw out when your in such a deep hole but if I were you i'd try to look at some other philosophies besides pessimism. My fav quote is by a classic lit author named osamu dazai amd the premise is that in life, good or bad everything passes and the only constant is change. Relationships come and go, pain comes and goes, everything is constantly moving and the only thing you can really do is imbrace the chaos, nothing matters so instead of hating your situation which you don't have control over try to make the best of it, get drunk, go to clubs, say whatever you want if your angry be angry if you like smth talk about it, the friends that will stay forever are the ones you can truly be your unfiltered chaotic self around and I promise you there are people like that out there. I don't think the ai is gonna go anywhere but if I were you i'd start smth simple like a hobby and work your way up from there

 

[ginko0]

if I were you i'd try to look at some other philosophies besides pessimism. My fav quote is by a classic lit author named osamu dazai amd the premise is that in life, good or bad everything passes and the only constant is change. everything is constantly moving and the only thing you can really do is imbrace the chaos

But wasn't Dazai obsessed with suicide?

 

[Kittywuzhere.]

But wasn't Dazai obsessed with suicide?

Yeah but dazai himself was not in the right mind, he spent his life doing stupid shit that hurt him and everyone around him but I feel this quote is the one thing that differs from his philosophy since it sparks some hope for the reader, even though dazai himself mean't it in a pessimistic way.