Venting I don't even have a reason

[Rosenfort]

I'm going to kill myself but I don't even have a reason, I realized this since I was sure that I was going to kill myself and started buying things like SN and medicine for that.
I have a good life, I'm not poor but I'm not rich either, I have a family with a good income, I've never had any big problems with myself like appearance, sexuality or whatsoever.
I've just always loved the idea of dying, it feels so comfortable not to live. I can't explain it, I just want to die SO MUCH, it's weird.
Does anyone else feel this way too?
I feel like a lot of people wanted to have my life and I'm going to end it xD

 

[Chrysalis]

Do you mean that you don't have a reason that seems justified from an external perspective, or that you truly don't feel any kind of notable distress in your life? Because there's a big difference between the two, and I know that people belonging to the former category will often feel like they don't have the right to be suicidal or depressed, which can be a rather alienating experience. If that doesn't apply to you however, and you really feel okay most of the time, then that is indeed pretty odd. Some kind of fixation you've developed over time?

 

[Bear1234]

Saying this kindly and with love, since you do have a pretty good life but also this obsession with dying, you should really look into therapy. I hate when people tell me that so by all means you can ignore that. But if not talk therapy then maybe somatic therapy. Or you can also try DMT (ayahuasca to understand yourself better). Just some ideas but to each their own <3