I Don't deserve friends and am terrified of speaking to others

[Nofuture1234]

If anyone really got to know me and knew the kinds of things I've thought and said while intoxicated, or knew how I managed to destroy the few relationships with other people I did have, they would either hate me and shun me or just look down on me as a pathetic loser. Probably both.
How do I "fake it til I make it" when I have no logical reason to have any confidence or self esteem? How do I lie to myself that I've actually been a completely different person all this time? I'm seriously asking because there's no way for me to be able to keep going if I can't.
I can't go into any kind of detail about my past I'm sorry.

 

[Mirrory Me]

well, no one is perfect, but you could probably increase your self-confidence in many ways (that is, the feeling that you are satisfied with yourself), but otherwise it is usually enough to be well-intentioned and nice to others as yourself, or that's what others would do as well.