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Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,919
Last year autumn my life finally started getting better at 25 and I experienced real happiness, felt so alive and I was looking forward to the future. I stopped abusing laxatives and food restriction. During that year I travelled, got a new high paying job and I fell in love with a much older man who is 30 years older than me. At the time I was 25 and he was 55. He made me feel so special in a way no man ever did. All my life guys ignored me and rejected me and it felt soooo great to have a man finally see me. I really loved him and this year he broke my heart, humiliated me at work with his lying and treated me as if I was nothing which was the most painful.

2023 has been worst fucking year ever with so much going wrong in my life.

I couldn't cope anymore with the constant things going wrong and heartbreak he caused me so I went back to abusing laxatives, diet pills and food restriction. Never again I want to feel anything anymore,. I love now being emotionally numb and out of it all the time.

I do not care how upset my anoxeria upsets my grandmother and sister. I will continue lying, abusing diet pills and laxatives . I don't want to feel anything anymore.
 
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