Venting I don’t belong here.

[The_Hunter]

Thank you for making this post. I feel seen in the feelings you're sharing here.

I originally joined this site during an up-phase of suicidal cyclings. (Luckily I'm so much better now.) And I originally joined to talk to people and try to help people to find senses of healing outside of merely death. I completely see where you're coming from on feeling like it's pointless. But, my friend, I'm sure you really did make a lot of people feel positive emotions, and that matters, friend :) It's seriously a good thing. Whether they're here or not, you made them feel something good. And that is NOT to be understated ;)

I think you deserve a place to belong. Never stop looking, deadbidaylight, never stop looking. You will find a place one day. The world needs caring people like you. Even if the world overlooks these people, it is indebted to them. Please take care of yourself. Put your own health first. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Put your own mask on before others. The world is but the poorer if it would be without your genuine, vitalistic, life, and your honest nature of presence.

Some people here really care about you and are telling you to stay. But ultimately, that's your own choice, that you have the right to decide. Your health and life come first, before everything. Even if they might be understandably a little sad by not being with you. they will still remember all the love you gave them, and all their lives are the better for it. I am sure they truly want the best for you and want you to feel alright, and even happy, if I may dare say.

I'm considering leaving this site too. From one wanderer to another. Bon voyage. May the winds take us to the most beautiful of vistas, and the warmest of airs.

Good places and good people await you, there are good people all over the world even if they are hard to find; may they find you and love you, as you deserve to be. May they be touched by your love and you by theirs. Please take care of yourself. We are glad to have met you for whatever time we were able to; we may be a little sad that we can't talk with you anymore but we are more happy with whatever will benefit your life. Best of wishes, friend! We are rooting for you :)

Same here. Your point is very valid. At one time, I was an outspoken advocate of making the website respectful for all demographics. I was never censored, but I quickly realised the futility of going against the groupthink. I never found another place to belong and my energy levels and mental focus are only a fraction of what they once were, so I avoid conflict now and keep my contributions very light.

I was on the cusp of offering a lengthy reply to you in that other thread, though you understandably chose not to engage further by that time.

As someone who is 'too old to know everything', for a post to do justice to such a serious topic, it would need to cover a few different points of view with nuance and reference to life experience, yet conclude on a somewhat ambiguous note. And the result will be ignored completely. In social media, what rises to the top is tribalism and simplistic posturing.

Only the tiniest number of people here intentionally harm others, but on the whole, I have seen many thoughtful, empathic people leave because of the somewhat juvenile culture.

Thank you for your words, Pluto. It's an honor to be able to hear your writings.

If you're curious... please know that I would be most willing to engage deeply with any ideas you might wish to share. Feel free to write to me in PM's if you're up for sharing some deep thoughts on things. I'm all for concluding on somewhat ambiguous notes ;) Just putting it out there! I know your energy is limited but I would be fascinated to hear what you would have to say. I completely feel you on the groupthink part, it's exhausting! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's very refreshing.

My entire life I've always felt like I never belonged anywhere. I thought I finally found that in this community. For the first time in my life I felt like I could relate, that my feelings were valid and that I wasn't alone. But after the last few days, my spirit is broken. I don't belong here either. I don't belong anywhere.

when we feel isolated--we feel there is nowhere to go.

but we are able to find at least some comfort in our own little worlds, and when the world is a little too much; we can withdraw, in our own soft darkrooms--and rest there, and breathe a little. allow yourself that relief. breathe when you need to. and when you feel ready and want more you're always free to walk out into the world again. but please--please please please--allow yourself relief and space when you need it. that's all friend <3

 

[deadbidaylight]

Thank you for making this post. I feel seen in the feelings you're sharing here.

I originally joined this site during an up-phase of suicidal cyclings. (Luckily I'm so much better now.) And I originally joined to talk to people and try to help people to find senses of healing outside of merely death. I completely see where you're coming from on feeling like it's pointless. But, my friend, I'm sure you really did make a lot of people feel positive emotions, and that matters, friend :) It's seriously a good thing. Whether they're here or not, you made them feel something good. And that is NOT to be understated ;)

I think you deserve a place to belong. Never stop looking, deadbidaylight, never stop looking. You will find a place one day. The world needs caring people like you. Even if the world overlooks these people, it is indebted to them. Please take care of yourself. Put your own health first. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Put your own mask on before others. The world is but the poorer if it would be without your genuine, vitalistic, life, and your honest nature of presence.

Some people here really care about you and are telling you to stay. But ultimately, that's your own choice, that you have the right to decide. Your health and life come first, before everything. Even if they might be understandably a little sad by not being with you. they will still remember all the love you gave them, and all their lives are the better for it. I am sure they truly want the best for you and want you to feel alright, and even happy, if I may dare say.

I'm considering leaving this site too. From one wanderer to another. Bon voyage. May the winds take us to the most beautiful of vistas, and the warmest of airs.

Good places and good people await you, there are good people all over the world even if they are hard to find; may they find you and love you, as you deserve to be. May they be touched by your love and you by theirs. Please take care of yourself. We are glad to have met you for whatever time we were able to; we may be a little sad that we can't talk with you anymore but we are more happy with whatever will benefit your life. Best of wishes, friend! We are rooting for you :)

Thank you for your words, Pluto. It's an honor to be able to hear your writings.

If you're curious... please know that I would be most willing to engage deeply with any ideas you might wish to share. Feel free to write to me in PM's if you're up for sharing some deep thoughts on things. I'm all for concluding on somewhat ambiguous notes ;) Just putting it out there! I know your energy is limited but I would be fascinated to hear what you would have to say. I completely feel you on the groupthink part, it's exhausting! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's very refreshing.

when we feel isolated--we feel there is nowhere to go.

but we are able to find at least some comfort in our own little worlds, and when the world is a little too much; we can withdraw, in our own soft darkrooms--and rest there, and breathe a little. allow yourself that relief. breathe when you need to. and when you feel ready and want more you're always free to walk out into the world again. but please--please please please--allow yourself relief and space when you need it. that's all friend <3

This is so beautifully written. Thank you! It's nice (but also very sad) to know that there are others that feel the same as I do at times. It makes me feel less alone, seen and heard. I really appreciate the time you took to write this for me. I hope that you're able to take your advice too because you deserve it just as much.

I've decided to stay, for now at least. This community means a lot to me and this thread really touched my heart. I think I owe it to myself and to everyone else to stay. I could change my mind later but for now I'm content, and feeling all the love.

I am also thoroughly honoured to get a written response from @Pluto. This is my first time ever seeing a post that wasn't a cat meme (which I also really enjoy as a fellow cat enthusiast!) and I am shocked that it was written for me. I couldn't be more grateful.

 

[The_Hunter]

This is so beautifully written. Thank you! It's nice (but also very sad) to know that there are others that feel the same as I do at times. It makes me feel less alone, seen and heard. I really appreciate the time you took to write this for me. I hope that you're able to take your advice too because you deserve it just as much.

I've decided to stay, for now at least. This community means a lot to me and this thread really touched my heart. I think I owe it to myself and to everyone else to stay. I could change my mind later but for now I'm content, and feeling all the love.

I am also thoroughly honoured to get a written response from @Pluto. This is my first time ever seeing a post that wasn't a cat meme (which I also really enjoy as a fellow cat enthusiast!) and I am shocked that it was written for me. I couldn't be more grateful.

To quote my late friend platypus77, "We're all alone in this together."

Also my first time seeing a written response from Pluto :) wonderful indeed.

If you decide to stay; I advise you to do so out of free will rather than a feeling of "obligation". My best wishes for your valuable life.

 

[deadbidaylight]

To quote my late friend platypus77, "We're all alone in this together."

Also my first time seeing a written response from Pluto :) wonderful indeed.

If you decide to stay; I advise you to do so out of free will rather than a feeling of "obligation". My best wishes for your valuable life.

I most definitely want to stay for my own reasons. I enjoy offering my support where I can. I know not everyone will make it out of here alive, but if I can brighten someone's time even for a moment, then I'm satisfied.

Not to say I do t have my own demons…I clearly found this forum for a reason. But somehow helping lift others up also seems to heal me as well. I get something out of being here too. Some days I struggle with words or what to say, but I really overall do enjoy being here.

 

[Pluto]

 

[deadbidaylight]

View attachment 163340

Sorry but your cat memes are an ENTIRE personality!

 

[The_Hunter]

I most definitely want to stay for my own reasons. I enjoy offering my support where I can. I know not everyone will make it out of here alive, but if I can brighten someone's time even for a moment, then I'm satisfied.

Not to say I do t have my own demons…I clearly found this forum for a reason. But somehow helping lift others up also seems to heal me as well. I get something out of being here too. Some days I struggle with words or what to say, but I really overall do enjoy being here.

I would like to personally thank you for adding a little bit of love to my friend's last moments. I don't kid myself with the question of "what if" (I would've been occupied with something or other at the time, I'm sure), but at the very least I'm glad there was someone like you to offer him some words of comfort, even in the face of everything.

Thank you for being like a kind hospice worker for people in pain. Not everyone can do that. You're all the more rare for it.

May you be able to heal all your demons, or at least co-exist somewhat amicably with them, and live a good life that deeply satisfies you—one day, I truly hope so. Good people like you deserve it. (Even if they think they don't, or even if they think they're not [good], hah XD)

Please take care, good friend. My notions with you.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I would like to personally thank you for adding a little bit of love to my friend's last moments. I don't kid myself with the question of "what if" (I would've been occupied with something or other at the time, I'm sure), but at the very least I'm glad there was someone like you to offer him some words of comfort, even in the face of everything.

Thank you for being like a kind hospice worker for people in pain. Not everyone can do that. You're all the more rare for it.

May you be able to heal all your demons, or at least co-exist somewhat amicably with them, and live a good life that deeply satisfies you—one day, I truly hope so. Good people like you deserve it. (Even if they think they don't, or even if they think they're not [good], hah XD)

Please take care, good friend. My notions with you.

Awe. That made me tear up. Offering him some kind words before he passed was the least I could've done for him after the courtesy and sincerity he showed me when I was in a dark place. He seemed like such a genuinely sweet and caring person that gave pieces of his heart away even though it was broken. I will never forget what he did for me.

I'm still mourning his absence. It's surreal that he's gone. Some of these members really stand out to me and it's that much harder when they're no longer here. He was one of those people. I hope that you're doing okay amidst his passing. I know you were close.

 

[The_Hunter]

Awe. That made me tear up. Offering him some kind words before he passed was the least I could've done for him after the courtesy and sincerity he showed me when I was in a dark place. He seemed like such a genuinely sweet and caring person that gave pieces of his heart away even though it was broken. I will never forget what he did for me.

I'm still mourning his absence. It's surreal that he's gone. Some of these members really stand out to me and it's that much harder when they're no longer here. He was one of those people. I hope that you're doing okay amidst his passing. I know you were close.

He was one of those people meant for life! That's why it's so mind bogglingly frustrating to me. I've accepted it wholly now, though. I need to live my own life, that's the truth.

 

[deadbidaylight]

He was one of those people meant for life! That's why it's so mind bogglingly frustrating to me. I've accepted it wholly now, though. I need to live my own life, that's the truth.

Yes we do. It's unfortunate and such a shame that he felt so much pain that he needed to go. Although I'm very sad, I respect his decision and I just hope he's in the best place ever. But we do need to live for ourselves. And we can honour those we've lost by living our best lives. We live for us, we live for the ones who couldn't. And we never forget them.

 

[EternalSkies]

She is so kind. Like a Guardian Angel at the end for me

 

[deadbidaylight]

She is so kind. Like a Guardian Angel at the end for me

I love you sweetheart. Keep hanging in there!

 

[CatLvr]

I am another of those folks who kinda comes and goes. I have found that keeping myself busy helping others keeps my suicidal thoughts at bay so ... I have adopted the entire neighborhood's grade school age kids (honestly even the middle school and high schoolers could come over as long as they behaved themselves) and I am completely and totally exhausted when they leave. Lol

But anyway I, too, am glad you are staying. You know, I might be repeating myself. I should have looked to see if I had already posted here before I began posting. Lol Anyway, if it is a "repeat" it obviously bears repeating ... You are a wonderful soul and we are blessed to have you.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I am another of those folks who kinda comes and goes. I have found that keeping myself busy helping others keeps my suicidal thoughts at bay so ... I have adopted the entire neighborhood's grade school age kids (honestly even the middle school and high schoolers could come over as long as they behaved themselves) and I am completely and totally exhausted when they leave. Lol

But anyway I, too, am glad you are staying. You know, I might be repeating myself. I should have looked to see if I had already posted here before I began posting. Lol Anyway, if it is a "repeat" it obviously bears repeating ... You are a wonderful soul and we are blessed to have you.

Thank you so much. You are also a wonderful soul who I greatly relate to and respect. Spreading the love around especially to those that really need it is a gift, and I also agree it heals too. Taking in those kids is so admirable and you'll surely leave a mark on their lives. Thank you for giving them those memories and guidance.

I'm aware everywhere I go. I took my family to see the Minecraft movie yesterday and I saw a teen girl sitting in the middle of the chaos in the lobby on the ground crying and clearly was in distress. I dropped everything and sat with her while no one else seemed to notice. If that's not a realistic look at what the state of humanity is in, I don't know what is. I unapologetically can't shut it off, and I don't want to.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I understand the pain of trying to be kind and help everyone just to be met with no return. Even with the best intentions one may have, if the return is always negative it becomes utterly demotivating and devastating. I too question myself at times, wonder why I "tolerate" things, wonder why I still give a damn about some things considering the fact that most of the time I always get shit back. I understand that it's tough, I too wish it wasn't this way. I'm sorry.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I understand the pain of trying to be kind and help everyone just to be met with no return. Even with the best intentions one may have, if the return is always negative it becomes utterly demotivating and devastating. I too question myself at times, wonder why I "tolerate" things, wonder why I still give a damn about some things considering the fact that most of the time I always get shit back. I understand that it's tough, I too wish it wasn't this way. I'm sorry.

Us empaths have to stick together!

 

[The_Hunter]

Yes we do. It's unfortunate and such a shame that he felt so much pain that he needed to go.

Although I'm very sad, I respect his decision / and I just hope he's in the best place ever.

Heh. To me, I think part of honoring his existence is disagreeing with his decision. I refuse to maintain hope that he is in any 'better place'—I don't believe we go anywhere (at all, let alone 'better') upon death.

The excellent ideas contributed continue to be of value. That to me is a fair remainder of good living.

But we do need to live for ourselves. And we can honour those we've lost by living our best lives. We live for us, we live for the ones who couldn't. And we never forget them.

We honor ourselves, we honor all those we care for and are inspired by, we honor every tradition we value through this. And by being able to act we also honor those who want to act but may not have the power to do so. And perhaps our memories may slip and we might forget them—but the fine ideas and progress they incited press on, not diminished at all whether we're able to attach a name to them or not. This progress is cumulative, beautiful, and overarching. It is an honor to be able to participate in this great progression of humanity. I'm quite flattered by it.

Us empaths have to stick together!

to all empaths: you are not alone. and your wishes for goodness may easily be more useful than you think they are. Keep thinking, keep feeling; even if your winds move one leaf it is still good and contributed. You (yes you, the one reading this) have something genuine to add to the world, and perhaps your addition may matter more than it may feel like. Best of wishes.

 

[lucyanne]

You write beautifully, it truly shows your heart and soul.
I am so sorry you feel you don't belong here,

I understand giving of yourself freely in the knowledge that it won't truly be appreciate while we are here.

I think a lot of us can relate to your post and the hurt and raw emotions.
I can't hope as it died in me long ago but I can pray you find acceptance and peace, be it in this life or the next.

Even here at what is the end for some of us it's sad that sometimes that barrier can't be breached and overcome to find empathy, understanding and compassion.