tiredplant777
Student
- Jul 23, 2021
- 196
Yeah I don't like it here. This is my main reason for wanting to CTB. People in general do not seem to care about each other, or others. Some of my friends care about me, but I also see them not giving a shit about others, which means if they didn't know me as well they would not care about me either. I thought I was just unlucky for a while with the people I met, but the reality is that I am realizing a lot of people really don't care. I also feel like most people I know care about me based on the condition of how supportive I am of them, like how nice I am to them. If I couldn't be that person anymore, even for a time, I don't think they'd care very much. I just don't want to live in a world where people see each other, animals, and the earth as totally disposable, and things that do not matter. When I talk to people about how I want to die, their response is that I am such a good person and the world needs people like me. But what the fuck am i supposed to do with that? Because i am doing this good person thing totally on my own, these people who say this to me don't join in and try to make the world a better place, they ignore literally every things. Hell my friends barely support me, I can't talk to them about things I have been through most of the time because it's too much for them or whatever. I talk to therapists which is good but it sucks knowing I can only get support because I am paying a lot of money for it. I get that it is a privilege to have therapy, but knowing that if I didn't have the funds for it no one else would be willing to talk to me or be more supportive is a really really bad feeling.
