I didn't jump.

[protocoltwentytwo]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

 

[Leonszabs]

Hey, you didn't waste anyone's time or energy. It is normal to change your mind about things, especially this. Suicide is obviously a big decision to make and a tough topic to talk about too. Please, be kind to yourself. Sending you my love

 

[Mr. Snrub]

Nobody's time was wasted don't even entertain those thoughts. Agree with @Leonszabs try to be kind to yourself. Failing that, try to be fair to yourself.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Hey, you didn't waste anyone's time or energy. It is normal to change your mind about things, especially this. Suicide is obviously a big decision to make and a tough topic to talk about too. Please, be kind to yourself. Sending you my love

You're very kind, thank you

Nobody's time was wasted don't even entertain those thoughts. Agree with @Leonszabs try to be kind to yourself. Failing that, try to be fair to yourself.

I'll keep that in mind, thanks for your words

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I'm sorry you're suffering in this way, OP. I don't feel you're wasting anyone's time. You're being honest and open about how hard the method is. Although it may be hard to see, this is also a benefit to the community. I respect your openness and humility. I sincerely hope that your suffering ends, one way or an other.

 

[MyShadow]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

If suicide was easy, this forum wouldn't have nearly 60,000 members. So, I will ask that you take what those who have responded before me, go easy on yourself and maybe lean into those feelings of hope and optimism.

I also have respect that you came back to the forum and owned it because we would have never known that you were OK and would have mourned losing you.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

T

I'm sorry you're suffering in this way, OP. I don't feel you're wasting anyone's time. You're being honest and open about how hard the method is. Although it may be hard to see, this is also a benefit to the community. I respect your openness and humility. I sincerely hope that your suffering ends, one way or an other.

Thank you, you're very kind. I hope you're doing well too

If suicide was easy, this forum wouldn't have nearly 60,000 members. So, I will ask that you take what those who have responded before me, go easy on yourself and maybe lean into those feelings of hope and optimism.

I also have respect that you came back to the forum and owned it because we would have never known that you were OK and would have mourned losing you.

I'll try my best. Thank you for the kind words

 

[traingirl]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

You shouldn't feel ashamed and you don't have to apologize to us. Jumping is one of the scariest methods and it makes sense why you would hesitate.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Thank

You shouldn't feel ashamed and you don't have to apologize to us. Jumping is one of the scariest methods and it makes sense why you would hesitate.

I agree, I didn't think I'd get overwhelmed this time but I was obviously wrong. Thank you

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

I am glad you changed your mind. Please do not apologize. If you have any glimmer of hope or feeling of wanting to be with your loved ones or concern about how they may feel, don't do it. The right time to CTB will come along. perhaps CTBing is not right for you in this moment.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

I am glad you changed your mind. Please do not apologize. If you have any glimmer of hope or feeling of wanting to be with your loved ones or concern about how they may feel, don't do it. The right time to CTB will come along. perhaps CTBing is not right for you in this moment.

Yeah I think so too, I kick the can a bit further for now. Thank you

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Glad you found your way back here, and no need to apologise. Just take your time and be kind to yourself, you've been through a lot these last few hours and you must have a lot of things going through your mind. We have time to listen as you process these thoughts, that's what we're here for. Sending hugs and hope you can find calmness within.

 

[itsgone2]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

Not your time then. I'm glad you're still with us.

 

[maniac116]

There's no shame in changing your mind. I'm glad you're still here with us & hope your life gets better...

 

[secretariat]

I want to apologize for wasting everyone's time and energy because I made multiple posts saying I was going to do it.

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

Again, I feel ashamed and bad and will not do that again, sorry.

im glad youre alive. please dont ever feel bad about it and if anything, we're happier that you are still here

i hope you can hang on to that feeling of optimism and that things get better for you

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

Glad you found your way back here, and no need to apologise. Just take your time and be kind to yourself, you've been through a lot these last few hours and you must have a lot of things going through your mind. We have time to listen as you process these thoughts, that's what we're here for. Sending hugs and hope you can find calmness within.

Thank you for your kind words, I read it after the face but I found the comment you left on that post really sobering, you really described how I felt before I could

Not your time then. I'm glad you're still with us.

Yeah, I'll fold it and put it in my back pocket for now, thank you

There's no shame in changing your mind. I'm glad you're still here with us & hope your life gets better...

Likewise, and thank you

im glad youre alive. please dont ever feel bad about it and if anything, we're happier that you are still here

i hope you can hang on to that feeling of optimism and that things get better for you

Thank you very much. And I hope you do well too

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Thank you for your kind words, I read it after the face but I found the comment you left on that post really sobering, you really described how I felt before I could

You're most welcome. I think sometimes we just need to listen to that voice inside us, sometimes it's buried by a lot of pain, and we don't hear it. But you found it. Wishing you all the best.

 

[doomedforsure]

i glad youre back suicide is hard to decide for everyone and failing it is not a big deal. dont put your energy on this and wish you have a great day

 

[rozeske]

Like everyone else, I'm glad to see you back and ok. Be easy on yourself, you've got nothing to apologize for. There is so many of us with planned and postponed dates. You don't need to rush it. Rest for now and treat yourself well. Take it one day at a time, the bus isn't going anywhere.

 

[Hiro Uchiha]

Nice to meet you and nice to see you're here still!
Nah, you didn't waste anything. Just here to say that we fail for a reason. I hope you're coping well.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I couldn't even stand on the edge, I started reasoning with myself with thoughts of my loved ones and how I could try harder, then a wave of hope came over me and I walked out of the building smiling and feeling like I had a new lease on life, now, a day later, I'm back to my usual line of thinking.

sometimes i feel hopeful and like life really is worth living, but the next morning or at night when i'm struggling to sleep, i feel awful and like the roof is going to cave in on me. the thought of "trying harder" tortures and motivates at the same time, because i do want to try harder but i'm afraid that i'm not strong enough to.

it's really easy to regress back into the same line of thinking that led you to wanting to go to the building in the first place. be kind to yourself, because that's the only thing you can do. no one here will judge you, regardless of your choice.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

sometimes i feel hopeful and like life really is worth living, but the next morning or at night when i'm struggling to sleep, i feel awful and like the roof is going to cave in on me. the thought of "trying harder" tortures and motivates at the same time, because i do want to try harder but i'm afraid that i'm not strong enough to.

it's really easy to regress back into the same line of thinking that led you to wanting to go to the building in the first place. be kind to yourself, because that's the only thing you can do. no one here will judge you, regardless of your choice.

Yes, I totally relate, it's supposed to be the fuel for improvement but personally whenever I try harder it all seems more absurd and more not worth pursuing.

Thank you for your thoughtful words, I will and I hope you find peace

i glad youre back suicide is hard to decide for everyone and failing it is not a big deal. dont put your energy on this and wish you have a great day

You too, thank you

Like everyone else, I'm glad to see you back and ok. Be easy on yourself, you've got nothing to apologize for. There is so many of us with planned and postponed dates. You don't need to rush it. Rest for now and treat yourself well. Take it one day at a time, the bus isn't going anywhere.

Thank you. Exactly, the ticket is in the back pocket for now

Nice to meet you and nice to see you're here still!
Nah, you didn't waste anything. Just here to say that we fail for a reason. I hope you're coping well.

Thank you, I hope you're doing well too

 

[AuraByte]

It's totally ok if it wasn't your time yet, OP. Please don't feel guilty or ashamed.

Stick around and talk to us as long as you want or need to.

 

[protocoltwentytwo]

It's totally ok if it wasn't your time yet, OP. Please don't feel guilty or ashamed.

Stick around and talk to us as long as you want or need to.

Thank you, very kind of you