Story i didnt ctb even tho i had the chance

[slightoverlooked]

idk if im proud of myself or if this is a missed opportunity. im not gonna say what could have killed me bc i will never share methods but it felt too easy. I could have done it. But I didnt. Im angry at myself. It feels like I missed an easy opportunity to ctb. It wouldnt have been a painless or a 100 percent foolproof death but I decided against it.
Im crying rn. I should have done it but I didnt want to traumatize the people around me (I wasnt home). I feel empty right now.
Is recovery rlly worth it? Im just gonna suffer till im 25 and then ctb. At least I have a method in mind now.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm proud of you and I'm glad you're still here.

 

[TimetoCatchtheBus]

Yea. I know how you feel. I missed my chance for an easy one. Im going to see if I can make it a week but i hate that i missed it

 

[drakflowerfire]

You have to figth with all your issues to choice to recover or repase.

 

[restless.dreams]

You did the right thing, it wasn't your time. You were kind to consider the people around you. Take care <3

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

Proud of you. Recovery is worth it. You might not be able to imagine it now. But recovery can get you to feeling content and happy watching a school of corydoras digging around in sand. Just feeling joy and content with moments.