I DID IT! I have everything I need to CTB via SN! <3

[anon789]

I have everything prepared in little labelled baggies stored in a small lunchbox with "game over" on the front. It fits my supplies perfectly which I feel is another sign this is the way to go. When I received my package of SN today (the final thing I needed) I literally hugged it to my chest for a few minutes and almost started to cry with happiness and relief. I finally have the choice to leave this world peacefully. I just wanted to share with people who would understand this relief.

Here is what I have in my kit:
- 500g of SN (I know it's way more than I need)
- 40mg Metoclopramide
- 600mg ibuprofen
- 6mg clonazepam
- 70mg Propranolol


I have enough extra supplies lying around that if this attempt fails and I end up in the psych ward, I can always come back and do it again..... If that's what I decide.

 

[anon789]

You should have a long hard think about this before making a decision. Is this what you really want? Have you tried everything within your power to improve your life? I just don't want you to rush into a decision.

I am trying everything in my power to get better first. Medication, therapy, and even psychedelic therapies under professional supervision. But I have been doing all of this for a year and no improvement, so I am giving myself until February to think about it. My last "almost attempt" was last February, I got caught by my closest friend before I even had the chance to take the SN and I got put into the psych ward for over a month.

I'll do my best to do this rationally if there is such a thing as a rational suicide.

 

[stxrdustprincex]

i hope you find the peace you've been searching for <3

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Here is what I have in my kit:
- 500g of SN (I know it's way more than I need)
- 40mg Metoclopramide
- 600mg ibuprofen
- 6mg clonazepam
- 70mg Propranolol

We pretty much have each of the same items except I have 8mg of Alprazolam and 160mg of Meto and only 40mg of prop since I take Bisoprolol already.

Anyways, good luck and I hope you peace if this is what you want to do. Be safe and best wishes.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I'm really happy for you! I agree that you don't have to go immediately and that there's probably still hope for you to get better (can't say much on that since I don't know your personal situation and this thread isn't about that) and I truly hope you can find a way to turn your life around but even then, just simply knowing you have an easy way out is incredibly reassuring and can put you at ease, and make trying out solutions beforehand less stressful in my opinion, at least that's how I feel personally.

I completely get the feeling of relief and crying tears of joy, I haven't found an SN source yet but I try to stay hopeful and whenever I imagine myself finally getting it I feel so relieved and happy. I wish you luck with any decision you make from here on out, either related to CTB or recovery.

 

[foxgirl]

Can I ask where you're from? I want to try to get SN but don't know how to begin...
I'm happy to read you're trying to do everything in your power to get better before resorting to this, and I truly hope everything works out how you want it to.

 

[Yuna is My Waifu]

Good motivation for me to get my act together and start hoarding stuff. Good job.

 

[anon789]

We pretty much have each of the same items except I have 8mg of Alprazolam and 160mg of Meto and only 40mg of prop since I take Bisoprolol already.

Anyways, good luck and I hope you peace if this is what you want to do. Be safe and best wishes.

how are you taking the meto? I do have more mg of it I'm just not sure which amount is best

Good motivation for me to get my act together and start hoarding stuff. Good job.

Don't feel like you need to. I'm just a control freak and I want everything prepared.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

how are you taking the meto? I do have more mg of it I'm just not sure which amount is best

Stat dose which is 30mg, about 45 mins before SN. That's the way to do it. Anything over 30mg could be risky.

 

[anon789]

Can I ask where you're from? I want to try to get SN but don't know how to begin...
I'm happy to read you're trying to do everything in your power to get better before resorting to this, and I truly hope everything works out how you want it to.

I'm from Canada and by the luck of god I found a way to get it! Thank you for acknowledging my efforts, most days it doesn't seem worth it but I have stuck around this long so it must mean something.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I'm from Canada and by the luck of god I found a way to get it! Thank you for acknowledging my efforts, most days it doesn't seem worth it but I have stuck around this long so it must mean something.

Yeah, Canada's the last place I'd expect to have any open sources of sn around. Good luck with everything though, including recovery because it does seem you want something outta that.

Good motivation for me to get my act together and start hoarding stuff. Good job.

Once you start, it progressively gets easier.

 

[sad_rock]

may you rest in peace with your decision! happy for you

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Wow, you must be feeling pretty achieved! If I may ask, how did you get the supplementary drugs? Online pharmacy?

 

[randal_bond]

I have everything prepared in little labelled baggies stored in a small lunchbox with "game over" on the front. It fits my supplies perfectly which I feel is another sign this is the way to go. When I received my package of SN today (the final thing I needed) I literally hugged it to my chest for a few minutes and almost started to cry with happiness and relief. I finally have the choice to leave this world peacefully. I just wanted to share with people who would understand this relief.

Here is what I have in my kit:
- 500g of SN (I know it's way more than I need)
- 40mg Metoclopramide
- 600mg ibuprofen
- 6mg clonazepam
- 70mg Propranolol


I have enough extra supplies lying around that if this attempt fails and I end up in the psych ward, I can always come back and do it again..... If that's what I decide.

Another label for your lunchbox may be "Way to go", especially if you feel this way ))))) Well done. Now you can breathe out.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so relieved to have all you need for ctb, I wish you the best.

 

[anon789]

Wow, you must be feeling pretty achieved! If I may ask, how did you get the supplementary drugs? Online pharmacy?

I lied my way into getting some of them through my psychiatrist and also through a doctor from a walk-in clinic!

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I lied my way into getting some of them through my psychiatrist and also through a doctor from a walk-in clinic!

Same here in terms of a Doctor through a walk-in clinic. Got my meto the same week I got my sn but got my benzos from a different doctor at the same clinic 2 weeks later.

 

[hi-okbye]

i'm so happy for you i wish you a lot of luck! can i ask for your SN source? i've been trying to find some

 

[anon789]

Another label for your lunchbox may be "Way to go", especially if you feel this way ))))) Well done. Now you can breathe out.

It was my dark humour that made me buy this container. I'm not actually sure if it's a lunchbox it may be a container for a sandwich or something. Here's a picture!

 

[hi-okbye]

It was my dark humour that made me buy this container. I'm not actually sure if it's a lunchbox it may be a container for a sandwich or something. Here's a picture!

that's a cute lunch box/container, certainly fits the topic

 

[anon789]

Same here in terms of a Doctor through a walk-in clinic. Got my meto the same week I got my sn but got my benzos from a different doctor at the same clinic 2 weeks later.

That's the way to do it. It makes me kind of sad because they are unaware of their "participation" in my plan. I also don't like lying but I have a gift for it.

that's a cute lunch box/container, certainly fits the topic

Thank you! And the craziest thing to me is that it fits my supplies like a glove!!!

 

[Deleted member 65988]

That's the way to do it. It makes me kind of sad because they are unaware of their "participation" in my plan. I also don't like lying but I have a gift for it.

At first, I was relieved I got my Meto but when my relief settled down, I did feel bad that they were giving what I needed to ctb completely unaware. Both times I went to go get Meto and benzos, I didn't think I'd get either so I did lie too so it worked out.

 

[Rhizomorph1]

This thread makes me hopeful...

I'm still awaiting my SN. My kit currently has:

- 45x 10mg domperidone (way more than I need lol)
- 3mg lorazepam
- 600mg ibuprofen

When my SN arrives I will be so relieved. Just knowing the option is there...

Happy for you <3

 

[randal_bond]

This thread makes me hopeful...

I'm still awaiting my SN. My kit currently has:

- 45x 10mg domperidone (way more than I need lol)
- 3mg lorazepam
- 600mg ibuprofen

When my SN arrives I will be so relieved. Just knowing the option is there...

Happy for you <3

This bus made me really dizzy.

 

[anon789]

This bus made me really dizzy.

Can you clarify?

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Can you clarify?

lol

I'm trying to figure out if they're implying they took SN...

Edit: Ohhh, they're referring to the gif in my signature

 

[anon789]

lol

I'm trying to figure out if they're implying they took SN...

Edit: Ohhh, they're referring to the gif in my signature

LOLLL the gif!! Yes ahha makes me dizzy too

At first, I was relieved I got my Meto but when my relief settled down, I did feel bad that they were giving what I needed to ctb completely unaware. Both times I went to go get Meto and benzos, I didn't think I'd get either so I did lie too so it worked out.

I guess we can find comfort in them being unaware. They just think they're helping people and doing their job and in a way they are helping us. But not in the way society sees it as helping or their job description lol

 

[Rhizomorph1]

LOLLL the gif!! Yes ahha makes me dizzy too

I suppose it's a good representation of SN then

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I guess we can find comfort in them being unaware. They just think they're helping people and doing their job and in a way they are helping us. But now in the way society sees it as helping or their job description lol

That is true. We did get what we needed after all.

 

[anon789]

I suppose it's a good representation of SN then

I hope it's not a spinning crazy bus!!!! I want it to be a bus that flows like a river and plays a sweet lullaby through the speakers.