Venting I despise it when pro life people say “if you really wanted to die you’d already be gone”

[FuneralCry]

I find that phrase so disgusting and insensitive, like I'm sorry they are so ignorant but suicide simply isn't as straightforward as just choosing to be gone, I literally don't understand those who believe that everyone can just choose to just instantly die at any moment and if they are still breathing it means they don't want it enough. To me it's especially disgusting when they say this as we exist in such a hellish pro-suffering society where suicide is basically illegal, how could anyone say this when we exist in this society where suicide is so harmfully made inaccessible by humans who love forcing others to suffer, to me it's evil how there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all.

Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, it's beyond hellish how that could happen, it's so hellish how we cannot just die in peace. Sorry pro-lifers but many are trapped here as they lack access to reliable methods and don't want to suffer way more from trying to die going wrong not because we want to exist in this cruel, disgusting world. Existence truly is so undesirable and I'd always prefer to die which is why I'm especially disgusted by pro-life people and how they love to insult those who suffer, I really wish there's the option to just fall asleep eternally.

 

[iloverachel]

Yeah I have wanted to die for about 8 years now. In my country of Australia its really hard, firearms are illegal, no euthanasia clinics, N is illegal etc.
Pretty much stuck in this prison. I also fear trying to CTB by methods like hanging in fear i fail and become paralyzed.
Life is definitely undesirable hell and not worth living

 

[Unattainable666]

That is said out of ignorance. SI is overwhelming to most

 

[LostInTheWoods]

With the state of mind I'm in at the moment if someone said that to me I would CTB in front of their very eyes just to be petty and let them rot with sense of guilt

 

[Pluto]

The other problem is that it's like saying, "I don't believe you are suicidal. Please prove it by dying, then I'll believe you." I don't think anything good comes of this.

Of course, attention-seeking is a thing. But why not let people have their attention?

 

[Otaku]

You are kind of a mystery to me @FuneralCry
But i guess it's because i don't know you ✌

 

[Silent_cries]

Honestly, you couldn't have said it better. Been struggling for years too with going through with ctb. It's actually so hard for me that I have to manipulate my own curiousness as to what would happen if I did survive and got brain injury to even have a chance at getting myself to go through with it, and it's not that I want brain injury either, I'm just a very curious person by nature. I don't mean to be bias or anything, but I have even had people on here try to convince me I don't want to die just bc I'm hesistant towards going through with it. Yes, I DO want to die for crying out loud! I just have to come to term with the thoughts of dying and find the courage and energy to fight my SI. Is it so hard to understand that? I feel you so much Funeral, it rly isn't fair!

 

[deathslament]

I had this told me too many in 2020. i didn't have a peaceful method then, if i had i would've.

 

[Silent_cries]

The other problem is that it's like saying, "I don't believe you are suicidal. Please prove it by dying, then I'll believe you." I don't think anything good comes of this.

Exactly. There's times I want to ctb infront of people so badly bc no one ever takes me seriously. It's so frustrating!

Of course, attention-seeking is a thing. But why not let people have their attention?

Fun fact, sometimes attention-seeking things are done bc ppl actually need that attention bc they need help or are lonely. Attention seeking isn't always a toxic or obnoxious thing. There's been times I did things just for attention bc I desperately needed someone to talk to. So yes, attention seekers should sometimes have their attention.

 

[Deleted member 8119]

That is said out of ignorance.

This is malice imo. In no right mind encouraging suicide is a sane response to such vulnerable feelings.

Of course, attention-seeking is a thing. But why not let people have their attention?

So what if it is? People reach out to others because they need attention. To invalidate their feelings is always a destructive intention.

 

[Malaria]

The other problem is that it's like saying, "I don't believe you are suicidal. Please prove it by dying, then I'll believe you." I don't think anything good comes of this.

Of course, attention-seeking is a thing. But why not let people have their attention?

I actually had someone at the suicide hotline say that to me... it feels so gaslight-y.

Not those exact words but that basically was in that ballpark.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yeah, some asshole chat room owner (voice chat) told me why don't you just kill yourself then, after we had a pro-choice debate. If only it was as simple as just flicking a switch it would be all over. Survival instinct is a bitch.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I despise that phrase too. It's like saying "you must enjoy living because your heart is beating". It's such a massive non sequitur and I don't understand how they think this. I crave permanent non existence and I always have for ages. Just because I'm alive doesn't mean that I enjoy living or that I have a reason to live. There is absolutely nothing that I like about me being alive. Absolutely nothing. If I had access to a button that made me be dead the moment I press it, I would press it immediately without thinking about anything else. I'm only alive because no such button exists in reality

 

[sserafim]

Literally. I hate this so much. The sad truth is that dying is hard and there's a risk of failing and being left even worse off. Everyone also has SI, the built in drive to survive. Ctb right now isn't worth the risk for me, even though I will do it eventually once I plan it out well and get over the fear of failure. I'd rather have a guaranteed death like from Pegasos or Dignitas.

 

[MBG]

I find that phrase so disgusting and insensitive, like I'm sorry they are so ignorant but suicide simply isn't as straightforward as just choosing to be gone, I literally don't understand those who believe that everyone can just choose to just instantly die at any moment and if they are still breathing it means they don't want it enough. To me it's especially disgusting when they say this as we exist in such a hellish pro-suffering society where suicide is basically illegal, how could anyone say this when we exist in this society where suicide is so harmfully made inaccessible by humans who love forcing others to suffer, to me it's evil how there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all.

Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, it's beyond hellish how that could happen, it's so hellish how we cannot just die in peace. Sorry pro-lifers but many are trapped here as they lack access to reliable methods and don't want to suffer way more from trying to die going wrong not because we want to exist in this cruel, disgusting world. Existence truly is so undesirable and I'd always prefer to die which is why I'm especially disgusted by pro-life people and how they love to insult those who suffer, I really wish there's the option to just fall asleep eternally.

This thread's title is wrong. It should say "I despise it when Pro Death people say 'if you really wanted to die you'd already be gone'."

>33,000 posts in <4 years?!! I guess posting gives you something to live for.

 

[jacobryan]

Choosing to ctb is not that simple. People don't realize that it's a process of weighing pros and cons, and thousands of questions, usually "what ifs" that include what if I fail my attempt? What if I stead of dying, I end up with brain damage? Liver damage? Physical conditions? And then I'm stuck and unable to attempt again. Or, if I'm found and "rescued" then I could be institutionalized.

 

[Raven_Nevermore]

I find that phrase so disgusting and insensitive, like I'm sorry they are so ignorant but suicide simply isn't as straightforward as just choosing to be gone, I literally don't understand those who believe that everyone can just choose to just instantly die at any moment and if they are still breathing it means they don't want it enough. To me it's especially disgusting when they say this as we exist in such a hellish pro-suffering society where suicide is basically illegal, how could anyone say this when we exist in this society where suicide is so harmfully made inaccessible by humans who love forcing others to suffer, to me it's evil how there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all.

Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, it's beyond hellish how that could happen, it's so hellish how we cannot just die in peace. Sorry pro-lifers but many are trapped here as they lack access to reliable methods and don't want to suffer way more from trying to die going wrong not because we want to exist in this cruel, disgusting world. Existence truly is so undesirable and I'd always prefer to die which is why I'm especially disgusted by pro-life people and how they love to insult those who suffer, I really wish there's the option to just fall asleep eternally.

I actually had a therapist tell me this. How fucked up is that?! I took the emotional risk disclosing to her that I felt suicidal and she answered back "if you were really suicidal, you would've done it already". Where the fuck did she get her degree from?!

 

[INTJme]

I actually had a therapist tell me this. How fucked up is that?! I took the emotional risk disclosing to her that I felt suicidal and she answered back "if you were really suicidal, you would've done it already". Where the fuck did she get her degree from?!

90% of therapists are a joke and the good 10% are severely overworked.

 

[divinemistress36]

My mom who went through severe depression herself said shit like this "if someone really wants to die they will go get hit by a train" . If it was that easy we would all do that

 

[DarkRange55]

The other problem is that it's like saying, "I don't believe you are suicidal. Please prove it by dying, then I'll believe you." I don't think anything good comes of this.

Of course, attention-seeking is a thing. But why not let people have their attention?

My understanding is there are generally considered to be two types of suicidal ideation: quasi-suicidal and actively suicidal. Quasi-suicidal behaviors may display elements of distress or despair but lack the immediate and intentional drive to end one's life that characterizes actively suicidal behavior.

"Quasi-suicidal" typically refers to behaviors or thoughts that resemble or mimic suicidal tendencies but may not involve a clear intent or plan to end one's life. This could include reckless behaviors, self-harm without intent to die, or expressions of hopelessness without a concrete plan for suicide.

"Actively suicidal," on the other hand, indicates a person has a clear intent, plan, or desire to end their own life and may be actively seeking to carry out that plan.

Then, as you said, there is a third group of people who cry wolf in order to get attention while not actually wanting to ctb. And I'm sure this leads to many people dismissing genuinely suicidal people.

Some people are just so intent on ctb that they will slit their throats or wrists with broken glass, break a window and jump out, ect. And these extreme cases can also lead to the assumption that, "why don't all these suicide people just do this?" While I'm sure many just want to peacefully go in their sleep or fade into non-existence and not risk surviving and loosing more freedom or disabling themselves.

This is just my guess and I don't have any concrete answers so I'm just speculating and doing my best to understand. And if anyone wants to label me and thats fine. I will reiterate this again, I think people should have the right to make their own choices as individuals and it's not up to me (and probably shouldn't be up to the state either). I don't claim to know or have the answers or understand everyone. So idk just my guess!

It's hard to understand this perspective if you don't want to ctb and I'm sure I'm guilty of that myself, to be honest.

 

[SueAsyde]

I find that phrase so disgusting and insensitive, like I'm sorry they are so ignorant but suicide simply isn't as straightforward as just choosing to be gone, I literally don't understand those who believe that everyone can just choose to just instantly die at any moment and if they are still breathing it means they don't want it enough. To me it's especially disgusting when they say this as we exist in such a hellish pro-suffering society where suicide is basically illegal, how could anyone say this when we exist in this society where suicide is so harmfully made inaccessible by humans who love forcing others to suffer, to me it's evil how there is the absence of peaceful, guaranteed ways to die for all.

Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, it's beyond hellish how that could happen, it's so hellish how we cannot just die in peace. Sorry pro-lifers but many are trapped here as they lack access to reliable methods and don't want to suffer way more from trying to die going wrong not because we want to exist in this cruel, disgusting world. Existence truly is so undesirable and I'd always prefer to die which is why I'm especially disgusted by pro-life people and how they love to insult those who suffer, I really wish there's the option to just fall asleep eternally.

Reading the title already tilted me. Like c'mon.. someone just reached out to someone or cried for help why do you need to be so disgusting about it?!
We also share the same fear of a failed ctb attempt where we end up as a living vegetable or something. Trapped as a passenger in its own body. Horrifying.