Schopenhauer said 9/10 of happiness is health also as far as finances are concerned I'd be glad to husly and David Goggins max and reach my full potential. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side but when you've been in torture/hell for nearly a year with not even a second of reprieve not healthy enough to even stand up and every moment is UTTER TORMENT. I'd gladly just slave away in a sweatshop if it means I was healthy.
Yeah, I do understand and sympathise. The worst pain I had was gallstones with a stone moving into the bile duct eventually. That was so painful. All you want when you're ill is to feel better. You find yourself saying you'll never complain about anything else if you only regain your health. You just need that chance to feel well again. It's understandable.
Not everyone experiences that contrast in life though. Things may always have been pretty average to good even for them so, they don't feel gratitude through experience. We tend to take our health for granted when we have it and no one likes being made to feel spoilt or guilty because, other people have it worse.
After all- it's not like we can give our healthy bodies or pain free years to someone who would make use of it. I suspect many people here would actually do that if it meant they could be free. So, simply in that sense- I think it's not exactly fair to resent people or make them feel guilty because their reasons for wanting out seem inferior. Not that I'm saying you're doing that or even that you feel that way but maybe?
I think my Grandma felt that way. She suffered terribly with her health. She got frustrated with people with more minor problems. Which I can understand but ultimately, there's the argument- we don't even want to be alive to deal with these problems! Minor or major. Chances are, we're holding on for them.
It can be equally baffling to someone who doesn't want to live as to why someone else is insisting that they not only must keep on living but- they ought to be damn well grateful that their life is no worse! It's like being given a vicious dog that occassionally mauls you and being told to be grateful it isn't a crocodile.
I've never been able to work out which is worse. Someone who apparently has it all but still wants to CTB. That's a desperate state to be in. To feel that there's simply nothing out there that could make life worthwhile. Or- someone who desperately wants something they think will help them but they're very unlikely to get it. I think both situations suck really.
The worst part about the person who sees nothing left in life as worth it is that no one else will believe them. They'll insist they need to change their attitude. They'll insist they are in the wrong, mentally ill, depressed- whatever. They're less likely to talk someone out of feeling physical pain though. If they have been diagnosed with something serious, they'll likely give them sympathy and get frustrated with the person who apparently has it all but wants nothing more than to be rid of it. I think both situations suck. Yours likely does suck more but none of us know who we'd be if we had a different life. I am still sorry for how life has treated you though. It terrifies me to think how our bodies are prone to failing.
