I ctb Sunday. My girlfriend won't know.

[RoseGarden]

I love her, so much. But she can't handle me talking about ctb. I'm going to go out peacefully, and alone. A few hours after I'm gone a trusted friend will get the text about where my body is.

 

[SVEN]

Best wishes for all going well.

 

[LunarLight]

I wish you find peace whatever you decide to do.
What method do you plan to use, if it's not indiscreet to ask?

 

[RoseGarden]

I wish you find peace whatever you decide to do.
What method do you plan to use, if it's not indiscreet to ask?

PH. I've considered SN or N but because of specific stomach issues those may not be effective. I've read the megathread and my tests left me unconscious so I should be good to go.

 

[LunarLight]

PH. I've considered SN or N but because of specific stomach issues those may not be effective. I've read the megathread and my tests left me unconscious so I should be good to go.

Okay. May you find peace then. Keep us updated!

 

[RoseGarden]

Okay. May you find peace then. Keep us updated!

I will! I'll probably go into more detail sunday. For now I'm just spending today relaxing. Friday I pick up my final paycheck (I quit). Saturday I'm spending with my girlfriend. Sunday... will be it. Hopefully.

 

[Dliena]

.
I wish you bestest of luck OP and eternal peace never to suffer again.

 

[LunarLight]

I will! I'll probably go into more detail sunday. For now I'm just spending today relaxing. Friday I pick up my final paycheck (I quit). Saturday I'm spending with my girlfriend. Sunday... will be it. Hopefully.

Hope you'll have the best time of your life on Saturday. I often think about the last times I'm gonna spend with my partner. Such a shame I can't die in their arms.
Will you be alone on Sunday?

 

[billie]

I hope you find the peace you are looking for

 

[RoseGarden]

Hope you'll have the best time of your life on Saturday. I often think about the last times I'm gonna spend with my partner. Such a shame I can't die in their arms.
Will you be alone on Sunday?

I always do. I love her dearly. I plan to be alone. I don't trust anyone to let me go through with it. I've almost always been alone, so I'm not scared of dying alone.

.
I wish you bestest of luck OP and eternal peace never to suffer again.

I've suffered enough in this life. I hope whatever comes next is tranquil.

 

[LunarLight]

I always do. I love her dearly. I plan to be alone. I don't trust anyone to let me go through with it. I've almost always been alone, so I'm not scared of dying alone.

So do I. It's gonna be really hard to leave them alone, traumatized and bereaved. It makes me so sad...
Good thing if you're alone. Best of luck!

 

[RoseGarden]

So do I. It's gonna be really hard to leave them alone, traumatized and bereaved. It makes me so sad...
Good thing if you're alone. Best of luck!

I know what she's going to go through, and I hate that. But I can't stand the thought of living any longer. I can't keep going just for one person.

 

[LunarLight]

I know what she's going to go through, and I hate that. But I can't stand the thought of living any longer. I can't keep going just for one person.

Yeah, I totally agree, I'm on the same page. I told them. I have to think about myself.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Its never easy for the loved ones we leave behind :(
I wish you the best with your plan and hope you find peace <3

 

[hi1738]

she will grieve, but she will also understand you are no longer hurting. good luck, feel better soon <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[LunarLight]

Sorry but I can never understand why a suicidal person would even feel comfortable staying in a relationship. I don't mean out of feeling guilty but because surely a relationship requires a lot more effort than friends or family (which you can typically be more casual with) and therefore I would assume putting on that effort would be too hard for someone determined to end their life?

Not necessarily. Sometimes the people who love you deeply don't need you to make efforts. They just love you unconditionnally.

 

[RoseGarden]

Sorry but I can never understand why a suicidal person would even feel comfortable staying in a relationship. I don't mean out of feeling guilty but because surely a relationship requires a lot more effort than friends or family (which you can typically be more casual with) and therefore I would assume putting on that effort would be too hard for someone determined to end their life?

every relationship is different. my partner helped me recover from my previous attempts.

 

[thelazyegg]

I'm also planning to CTB on Sunday. I wish you the best in your plans and wish you relief and peace from the suffering you are experiencing My boyfriend took his life in September last year and didn't leave a personal note or goodbye, so if you haven't done that yet, please do. Your partner will appreciate it. I'm haunted everyday by the fact the last thing he told me was that "everything is good" and that he would call me when he was free. He wrote journal entries and told me he wanted to show me the journal entry he wrote when he met me. I'll never see them ever since he took his life before showing me. So if there are any tokens of love to leave, please do. Thank you so much for reading.

 

[RoseGarden]

well shit, nevermind. she's busy this weekend. I want to tell her that I need to spend time with her but if she asks why I don't know what I'm going to say...

 

[thelazyegg]

well shit, nevermind. she's busy this weekend. I want to tell her that I need to spend time with her but if she asks why I don't know what I'm going to say...

If you can't explain to her what's going on—Can you say you are going on a trip and want to see her before you go? Is that a possible excuse that could fly in this situation?

 

[bipbapbop]

well shit, nevermind. she's busy this weekend. I want to tell her that I need to spend time with her but if she asks why I don't know what I'm going to say...

Just say you miss her and you wanted to spend some time just the two of you. I think thats normal in a loving relationship.

 

[RoseGarden]

If you can't explain to her what's going on—Can you say you are going on a trip and want to see her before you go? Is that a possible excuse that could fly in this situation?

she knows I don't travel that much.

Just say you miss her and you wanted to spend some time just the two of you. I think thats normal in a loving relationship.

I am seeing her, but just part of sunday instead of all day saturday. I really just wanted to cuddle her before I go out.

 

[bipbapbop]

she knows I don't travel that much.

I am seeing her, but just part of sunday instead of all day saturday. I really just wanted to cuddle her before I go out.

I'm glad to hear that you'll get to see her even just for a bit. I hope it's a perfect Sunday for you.

 

[bipbapbop]

Hey, Rosegarden, thinking of you. I hope you are okay wherever you are.

 

[RoseGarden]

Hey, Rosegarden, thinking of you. I hope you are okay wherever you are.

I fucking failed. again.

that's all I fucking do. fail. I can't even fucking die properly. I test my spot thoroughly. I can fucking hold onto my anchor point and dangle. it supports my weight. but when I go to actually hang myself? it fucking breaks. I get risen from blissful unconsciousness by faceplanting my fucking...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[RoseGarden]

Be aware that in this way you are a burden to your partner and if you love her leave him because you are taking up his precious time.
Imagine yourself that you are in a relationship and it mainly involves therapy for a suicidal person who wants to end everything, nothing that would fit into the framework of building a common future good. If she cares about partner shit things she will certainly find another one quickly.
Good luck with effective methods.

I mean this with as much love and care as I can muster

please gender my girlfriend correctly

 

[dead-yaga]

as someone who's partner left them behind (we even had a suicide pact) let me tell if she really loves you then your partner will never get over it. she'll blame herself for not being able to do more for you and hate herself for making you not trust her enough to warn her in advance. she'll never feel anything towards anyone again cause no one else is you, and she will see you everywhere. not a day goes by where my partner doesn't cross my mind, and how i am at fault for their death. but of course everyone will say that's wrong and so she will spend the rest of her life blaming herself for involuntary manslaughter. and with blame comes consequences and with consequences comes punishment. but the only one who will punish her is herself. i think if you're in a relationship with someone, you should give them the opportunity to go with you, or at least be with you at the last moments. if you really love her you shouldn't leave her with unanswered questions. cause i can tell you, from someone in the opposite of this situation, she will follow you eventually. it may be immediately, it may not. it might be being subconsciously self-destructive, or it may be a thought out plan. but she will follow you. just with a lot more pain sadness anger and confusion. and loneliness. im going to follow my partner. if someone says they'll be with you forever, through thick and thin, they should mean it. and i meant it.
i guess it comes down to how much does your girlfriend depend on you? my partner was my life and my world, since they died i have nothing to live for, any future i had imagined is impossible now. my life has fallen to bits without them and i plan to catch that bus in the coming year (got a kit) i just need to prepare some stuff. but i would've done anything to die in their arms with them.
i just want you to know what she will probably be going through. i would've given anything in the world even to just know about it.