I Cracked the Code

[starboy2k]

so let me get this straight……..

my relatives can spend money to help me pay bills so I can keep a phone I barely talk or text on, and a lights I barely use on…….

yet can't spare literal dollars for bus fare needed to go to a JOB INTERVIEW. a job interview I managed to get for the first time in almost 5 months since my last one

they would rather pay redundant bills for me when they can, but ghost me on the less expensive chance for me to attend a interview, maybe get the job, and not need them for anything after that……

yea so now I know my lowest point and dependency is needed for people like my relatives because thats how they can keep me under their control. makes sense given how little I used to talk to them when I actually had a full time job and barely needed them for anything.

i try not to come on here and spew my little feelings everytime, but I really have to document shit like this because the constant gaslighting will really make me think im going crazy.

it really pains me to finally realize that suicide is my only ticket to true freedom………..*sigh

 

[[Lord Void]]

What pains me more than people who want to die are people who want to live but feel forced to choose death. Logically it would make sense to help get you back on your feet as that's what family is supposed to do. People who support each other form lasting, meaningful bonds. Instead they let fear guide their actions making your life worse in the process. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

 

[starboy2k]

What pains me more than people who want to die are people who want to live but feel forced to choose death. Logically it would make sense to help get you back on your feet as that's what family is supposed to do. People who support each other form lasting, meaningful bonds. Instead they let fear guide their actions making your life worse in the process. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

Its fine. Hardest pill to swallow regarding life is knowing the people you share DNA with can and will be your biggest enemies. Can't wait to kill myself and permanently escape all of this.

 

[Sinful]

That's beyond fucked, imagine actively sabotaging your relative. WTAF

Sorry that you have to go thru this!

 

[Rainork]

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.
Some people are so shitty and it sucks that we're stuck having to live in this hell.
All the best.