I couldn't do it

[kitt_ari]

I attempted hanging last Friday. I was too scared. It was so dark where I was. On a more positive note, I was able to get Reglan for my SN attempt. I'll be doing the 48 hour regimen starting Wednesday. To anyone using this medication, please have Benadryl on hand to counter any anaphylactic side effects. I tested 5 mg Reglan and was fine. I'm a bit scared after reading 2 stories on this site who failed their attempt with the regimen. Hopefully it goes well for me. I love you all. I'll be posting my experience during the attempt.

 

[metalchic_74]

Do you think you'll be less scared going with SN?

 

[Hunter100]

Are you sure you're ready? I read your story and from a outside perspective it seems like this has been a relatively short depressive episode and you've had a good life that you enjoyed until recently. (Sorry if I read or understood your story wrong) have you tried different avenues first? I hate to see a healthy 24 yr old give in but if that is your choice then I wish you peace.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I attempted hanging last Friday. I was too scared. It was so dark where I was. On a more positive note, I was able to get Reglan for my SN attempt. I'll be doing the 48 hour regimen starting Wednesday. To anyone using this medication, please have Benadryl on hand to counter any anaphylactic side effects. I tested 5 mg and was fine. I'm a bit scared after reading 2 stories on this site who failed their attempt with the regimen. Hopefully it goes well for me. I love you all. I'll be posting my experience during the attempt.

what you mean you had 5mg diluted in water and drank it?! how did u feel?!

 

[kitt_ari]

what you mean you had 5mg diluted in water and drank it?! how did u feel?!

no I used 5mg of Reglan to see how my body would react.

 

[MeltingHeart]

no I used 5mg of Reglan to see how my body would react.

Oh ok . Sorry my bad! Was gonna say! I wondered how you felt ?!!

 

[kitt_ari]

Are you sure you're ready? I read your story and from a outside perspective it seems like this has been a relatively short depressive episode and you've had a good life that you enjoyed until recently. (Sorry if I read or understood your story wrong) have you tried different avenues first? I hate to see a healthy 24 yr old give in but if that is your choice then I wish you peace.

I know. It seems like it right? It's sad. But I was sad throughout those experiences. I've always been anxious. I've used medicine but they don't keep me motivated in life. They help with the sadness, but not the hopelessness. I'm honestly so scared. I'm so sad. But I've been depressed for so long. I feel alone with everyone. I want to keep helping people and being there for everyone. I have a lot of love to give, but I don't have any for myself. This episode just escalated it fully.

Do you think you'll be less scared going with SN?

I think so. I was only scared because of my fear of the dark. It's a bit pathetic I know.

 

[Rising Phoenix]

I attempted hanging last Friday. I was too scared. It was so dark where I was. On a more positive note, I was able to get Reglan for my SN attempt. I'll be doing the 48 hour regimen starting Wednesday. To anyone using this medication, please have Benadryl on hand to counter any anaphylactic side effects. I tested 5 mg Reglan and was fine. I'm a bit scared after reading 2 stories on this site who failed their attempt with the regimen. Hopefully it goes well for me. I love you all. I'll be posting my experience during the attempt.

Good luck.

 

[trynacbt]

I know. It seems like it right? It's sad. But I was sad throughout those experiences. I've always been anxious. I've used medicine but they don't keep me motivated in life. They help with the sadness, but not the hopelessness. I'm honestly so scared. I'm so sad. But I've been depressed for so long. I feel alone with everyone. I want to keep helping people and being there for everyone. I have a lot of love to give, but I don't have any for myself. This episode just escalated it fully.

I can very much relate and am close to your age... also planning to ctb with SN very soon... please feel free to PM

 

[Hotsackage]

Ive been trying hanging today. I wanna get some sn tho for reassurance

 

[Hunter100]

I feel alone with everyone. I want to keep helping people and being there for everyone. I have a lot of love to give, but I don't have any for myself

This really hit home with me. Exactly how I feel, thank you for putting this into words. I can never seem to do so because I get so frustrated.
I understand this completely though.

I was just hoping there was still some hope left in your life but I can relate to how you feel.

 

[kitt_ari]

This really hit home with me. Exactly how I feel, thank you for putting this into words. I can never seem to do so because I get so frustrated.
I understand this completely though.

I was just hoping there was still some hope left in your life but I can relate to how you feel.

I don't hate the world or anyone. Just love and hope for everyone. It's sad how little we can think of ourselves. Thank you for caring you have a good heart.

 

[noctiva]

I'm honestly so scared. I'm so sad. (...) I feel alone with everyone. I want to keep helping people and being there for everyone. I have a lot of love to give, but I don't have any for myself. This episode just escalated it fully.

Wow, this describes me perfectly! I want to help, especially those I love, support them and be there for them. Helping them is actually what helps me with my depression! I have nothing that helps me for myself, for myself I'm just empty.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It's okay to be scared. It's in our blood. (I'm terrified of the dark and I'm 22). So I could never do it with no lights on. However, if you're very afraid, even just a couple of days extra to give yourself time to breathe can help. You said Wednesday? Well, maybe Friday instead after you have collected your own thoughts a bit. It's not about keeping you from CTB, it's about making sure you're comfortable the whole way through. We care.

Do you have Valium or anything like that to possibly calm you a bit when the time rolls around?

 

[I screwed up]

I attempted hanging last Friday. I was too scared. It was so dark where I was. On a more positive note, I was able to get Reglan for my SN attempt. I'll be doing the 48 hour regimen starting Wednesday. To anyone using this medication, please have Benadryl on hand to counter any anaphylactic side effects. I tested 5 mg Reglan and was fine. I'm a bit scared after reading 2 stories on this site who failed their attempt with the regimen. Hopefully it goes well for me. I love you all. I'll be posting my experience during the attempt.

Hanging or partial Wil have super high SI IMO plus the fear or failure and possible pain. I can understand the scare brother. Guess sn will be little easier as u can just gulp the damn thing .. At least I hope it is a bit easier as that's my method too.
All the best for whatever u choose to do mate