I felt so ready I had everything prepared, but when it got to the moment I just couldn't. I need it to work, but I couldnt. How do I get past ths SI.
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Scacie
She/Her
- Feb 24, 2023
- 242
I'm so sorry. Perhaps some benzos/ other sedatives can help with the anxiety and SI you were having. It's a huge decision, and certainly not easy, but the bus won't leave anytime soon.
I'm scared this will happen to me at my jumping location when the time comes, and I'll be stopped and banned from it. Things are looking discouraging with life, no one wants to really help me and I'm running out of money to help myself.
Blue_mist
Mortal
- Apr 14, 2021
- 230
It's ok my dear! all living creatures have instinct for survival even microorganisms. Don't be hard on yourself and take it one step at a time. I wish peace and success with whatever you choose
Its very difficult, it seems easy when the impulses come but when you go to do it, there is an inbuilt fear that comes up. You definitely need something like alcohol and benzos to give you courage. Or you just have to stop yourself from thinking and do it quickly. I'm in the same kind of place as well, desperate to leave but fighting against SI. I hope those of us that want to go, get to leave soon.
LateForTheBus
Experienced
- Feb 7, 2023
- 228
Don't beat yourself up over it. SI is naturally ingrained in us. It can be really hard to fight. (Hugs)
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 41,534
I believe that those who managed to succeed with ctb found a method that they felt confident in and they just knew that it was the right time to exit, or maybe they just got so desperate to leave which allowed them to overcome the survival instinct. But the reality is that there are no easy answers as to how to go through with ctb, suicide really is so unnecessarily difficult, I think that if I had a method as reliable and peaceful as Nembutal I would have no problems going through with ctb but unfortunately that's not the reality.
body_snatcher
green and lonely
- Jan 23, 2023
- 40
After seeing your other thread I wonder if the method might be part of the SI? Seems painful and daunting. Hope you're doing okay, sending you love and wishing you all the best
