Venting I can't take it.

[human123]

my suicidal ideation has been getting a lot worse. i can't take it anymore. i want to die next time im alone for the whole day, so I wont be stopped. but my mom has spent thousands of dollars on me to take my to Disney this summer an the tickets are nonrefundable, even in the case of death. I would feel horrible to have my mom waste all that money on a corpse. I was going to commit on August 31, but im not sure if i can last that long. I'm scared of being institutionalized

 

[m3nhera]

my suicidal ideation has been getting a lot worse. i can't take it anymore. i want to die next time im alone for the whole day, so I wont be stopped. but my mom has spent thousands of dollars on me to take my to Disney this summer an the tickets are nonrefundable, even in the case of death. I would feel horrible to have my mom waste all that money on a corpse. I was going to commit on August 31, but im not sure if i can last that long. I'm scared of being institutionalized

Is she understanding enough to talk to her about this? Psych wards can be good or they can suck, if you don't want that risk, if your mom is understanding enough she could take care of you at home, like a psych ward but without all the bad stuff. I understand you don't want her to waste that money on a corpse, like rubbing salt in the wound of the non-refundable tickets. If you try and talk to her you're just trying to stay alive.

 

[human123]

Is she understanding enough to talk to her about this? Psych wards can be good or they can suck, if you don't want that risk, if your mom is understanding enough she could take care of you at home, like a psych ward but without all the bad stuff. I understand you don't want her to waste that money on a corpse, like rubbing salt in the wound of the non-refundable tickets. If you try and talk to her you're just trying to stay alive.

If I tell her ill go back to the mental hospital. she is also not in the state to deal with my mental issues.