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It certainly can be so awful and tiring being awake as there really does seem to be no real relief from suffering in this hellish world, so of course it's understandable wishing to be completely unaware of it all. I'm sorry that life has tortured you so much.
Life in itself is just one massive headache of unnecessary suffering. There are too many things in life that make me want to end it all one day or just go into a coma. At this point, I barely live in this life anymore, I just "exist" in it due to the fact that nothing really makes life worth living in, not even the hobbies that I enjoy doing really help me be somewhat happy in this world anymore.
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