undecidedfool
I'm just here.
- Oct 29, 2024
- 46
I love my partner. I do.
But holy shit I do not have the emotional capacity to support his wellbeing right now. His depression and anxiety are bad enough that he's not working, and that's stressful enough. He's currently in a mood, and I just can't fucking do it. I can't be the shoulder to cry on right now.
I'm going to ctb in June, and he's not going to be okay. But how the fuck am I supposed to care when I feel so fucking drained? I used to be so compassionate. I used to care about everybody, especially him. Now some days I just can't stand being in the same room when he's upset.
It makes me feel like such a shitty person, because he put up with my moods for 6 weeks straight before I could fake being okay again. It makes me wonder how much he despises me for that. It makes me hate my lack of care and regret every time I expressed my depression/general shit moods.
Sorry for the ramble. I don't know if it makes sense at all. I just have no one I can talk to about this.
(Also if you happened to see my old posts, I did push back my date to June because I have a few things I would like to do first, like getting a tattoo finished and going to an anime/nerd convention.)
But holy shit I do not have the emotional capacity to support his wellbeing right now. His depression and anxiety are bad enough that he's not working, and that's stressful enough. He's currently in a mood, and I just can't fucking do it. I can't be the shoulder to cry on right now.
I'm going to ctb in June, and he's not going to be okay. But how the fuck am I supposed to care when I feel so fucking drained? I used to be so compassionate. I used to care about everybody, especially him. Now some days I just can't stand being in the same room when he's upset.
It makes me feel like such a shitty person, because he put up with my moods for 6 weeks straight before I could fake being okay again. It makes me wonder how much he despises me for that. It makes me hate my lack of care and regret every time I expressed my depression/general shit moods.
Sorry for the ramble. I don't know if it makes sense at all. I just have no one I can talk to about this.
(Also if you happened to see my old posts, I did push back my date to June because I have a few things I would like to do first, like getting a tattoo finished and going to an anime/nerd convention.)
