Help I can't stay away from cutting myself

[Act Two]

I'm not sure if this should be prefixed help or venting, it feels like both tbh.

I know cutting myself is bad (obviously), but no matter how hard I try I just can't stay away from it. Even if I isolate myself from any knives / sharp objects, I get so desperate that I'll use paper, pencils, my fingernails etc. enough to draw blood. I've been trying to be online less often and be in real life more, but I just end up cutting myself more.

I know there's no magic solution, but this really sucks and I don't know what to do. Half of me knows I need to stop, and the other half needs it to keep going.

 

[cryone]

although mine wasn't as serious, i found the app "i am sober" really helpful in preventing me from harming myself. i just rly liked tracking it and all. it was a slow process but now i don't feel like cutting everyday. maybe it could help you too.

Half of me knows I need to stop, and the other half needs it to keep going.

yes, it feels just like this. you feel like you need to do it to escape, but logically you know it is likely harmful.

 

[pilotviolin]

hi, quitting SH can be pretty difficult bc the urges can be so overwhelming, and it is a coping mechanism although not the best in terms of cost to health. while not 100% there, i have been kind of clean, not fully but better than before; what kind of helps is assessing what causes me to feel urges/need to SH, whether it be feelings, events or thoughts, and what i feel or get from it after i hurt myself. since for me it regulates my emotions, i can kinda pinpoint when and what causes the urge, and also develop different things to do based on what i need. i havent done much experimenting with it but theres also things like TIPP skills that kinda trick your brain when you give it stimulus like clenching muscles, breathing etc. but yeah its tough when you feel you have to hurt yourself or its difficult to just distract/do something else, wishing you the best and some relief from SH urges.

 

[siouxsie]

Have you tried dbt/mindfulness/skills? It helps me a lot. I cut a lot less these days. Maybe read up on it. I have a skills box where I keep rubber bands, ammonia (to smell it), sour/hot candy, lavender etc to calm me down. It's definitely worth a try

 

[cali22]

Throw away all the blades you have that's how I did it and I did it partially I still have the urge to do it but I don't do it anymore