Mad at friends for also being suicidal

[throwawaynausea]

Hi. I have two friends (that I know of) that have either tried to CTB or have seriously thought about it. I'm planning to CTB soon myself but I can't bring myself to understand them wanting to do it. They're both really great people – we'd probably lifelong friends if I planned to stay here. Handsome, smart, successful, lots of good friends, fairly secure financially, living in a nice part of the world. Everything that I don't. Why would they kill themselves? They can't, I can't let them.

I feel like everyone else but me deserves to live. If I had a magic wand, I'd save everyone trying to CTB except myself.

Do you have a similar experience? How do you cope? I think I come across as a really bad friend when I react with incomprehension and that makes me sick.

On a side note (sorry for the nonsensical text), I'm concerned about collateral damage. Do you guys think there's any way to help prevent them from CTB after I do it? I couldn't die in peace knowing I killed them too.

 

[AmericanMary]

You never know what's going on inside of somebody else's head. You never know what happens when nobody else is around to watch.

 

[Forveleth]

Remember that suffering has nothing to do with looks, wealth, job, number of friends, financial status, location, race, or age. Yes, some of those things may contribute to and may make it more likely that someone is depressed, but just because any number of those things are "good" in someone's life, as seen by you, doesn't mean that they can't still suffer. You have no idea what's going on in their personal lives or even in their heads, so you cannot judge their right to CTB.

As for collateral damage, I don't have advice because I view suicide as ultimately the individual's choice. So the news of your passing may make them sad, but it is ultimately up to them on how they deal with it.

 

[Z-A]

If I'm a billionaire with love, family, respect and good health, I still have every right to be suicidal, whether it's boredom, depression or any other reason. Who are we to tell others if their reason is valid or not?

In fact, the worst thing majority of people do is always compare themselves with others or bring others as an example who have it worse and tell you that you should be proud and grateful to have it better than them as if it solves your problems. It's so anti-choice and selfish.

 

[astr4]

i get it, and it's ironic sometimes we can see everyone else self worth except our own. but also the way i see it, you might love your dog, but if Spot was hit by a car you would probably hopefully do the right thing and let him pass peacefully (depending on the injury ig). you might not see their suffering but if they want to ctb presumably they are suffering. honestly the same way i wish my friends could respect my choices and just let me feel supported even to the end, is how i would treat a suicidal friend. just offer them validation and empathy, because the invalidation is the most painful thing sometimes. think about it. aren't you indirectly saying they haven't suffered enough to "deserve" to be suicidal? maybe u can just hope they find their peace, no matter what that peace looks like. just some food for thought.

 

[FuneralCry]

Human existence is always futile and undesirable no matter what, it's disgusting to want to force others to suffer and anyway suicide is a human right, not something for other people to decide. I find it so cruel how many are against the personal decision to die, I don't deserve to be burdened with this dreadful yet so pointless existence that I never would have chose in the first place for decades on end just to die slowly and painfully from old age.

Rather I only deserve the peace of eternal nothingness, to have the ability to exist is a punishment imposed by those who were selfish enough to procreate even know existing truly is just meaningless suffering.