Venting I can't stand my own face

[an_alias]

nearly 5 months ago I had the best day of my life when I got to meet my best friend in person for the first (and potentially last; I don't think she'll come back to England any time soon and I can't fly out to see her for health reasons) time. Every day since I've thought about that day and wished I could relive it. and then I look at the pictures we took on that day because it's the only way I can get close to those memories and I'm forced to look at my own face for once and am completely fucking repulsed oh my goddddddddd I look humiliatingly epicene, I look like a twelve-year-old, my hairline looks like it's receding even though i'm not balding at all and my hair grows all the fucking time, my upper lip looks like a dried-up dish sponge, I look like I have FAS, my eyes look like tghey belong on a fish, I l look like a total manlet and it's meant that the memories i hold closest to my heart are now fleeting and no longer uplifting but just straight up embarrassing I have NOTHING I have no clue how she could've looked at me without wincing for the 5 and a half hours that we were with each other I need to do the joelle van dyne thing and just wear a veil outside everywhere i go i swear Does anyone else feel this way

 

[Nightfoot]

I used to feel that way then happened to see a picture of me in high school, when those feelings were strongest, and realized I was actually kind of handsome and a lot better looking than I had thought I was. I think the fact that your friend didn't react negatively to your looks, while you can't understand why, says a lot. It's natural for us to judge ourselves more harshly than others do. You listed a number of negatives about your looks, things that others might not even notice or think of as bad. Your face is your face, which is reason enough to love it.