I can't really make any headway with ctb plans...

[Walilamdzii]

I'm being continually monitored by a family member at the moment. It's a bit frustrating, because it's really not like anything will change. I've been having this sort of ideation on and off for many years, more noticeably within the past 8 years. I think that is substantial enough an amount of time, and things have worsened over that period, to know that things won't improve.

I want to practice this ligature strangulation method, but if they open my door and I'm midway through that, it'll be a backwards step because they will confiscate my materials, or worse seek some kind of intervention. I could potentially try it out late at night but it puts me on edge thinking someone might come in while I'm experimenting with tourniquets etc...

I really don't want it to come to jumping but with this level of scrutiny/monitoring I'm beginning to think I will have to use an impulsive, risky method.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is hell what you have to go through and how your family is treating you is awful. It's so incredibly difficult to leave this world while we are forced to live in such an anti-suicide society cause so much more suffering. I hope you can find peace!

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's so cruel what that person is doing, they shouldn't have any right, it's inhumane wishing to make someone a prisoner to this existence until they die anyway, nobody should have to suffer against their wishes.

 

[Walilamdzii]

This is hell what you have to go through and how your family is treating you is awful. It's so incredibly difficult to leave this world while we are forced to live in such an anti-suicide society cause so much more suffering. I hope you can find peace!

I get that they're worried but I don't see why they think I should continue with no quality of life... they're just delaying the inevitable. I can't think of a way to get further with this ctb plan, I want to practice it but if someone walks in on me.

I think it's so cruel what that person is doing, they shouldn't have any right, it's inhumane wishing to make someone a prisoner to this existence until they die anyway, nobody should have to suffer against their wishes.

Yes I get that it's in the name of love, but they aren't experiencing what I'm experiencing... I do feel like a prisoner to this existence.