In such mental pain, and I can't even say why. What am I to do with the coming hours? I'll just sit and suffer. I've had the method and all planned for ages, but honestly I'm too fucking scared to do it. I don't know what to do. I'm running out of coping mechanisms. It just gets so severe, and when it does, there's so little I can do. I don't want to leave my family grieving so awfully by killing myself. I'm so alone in this suffering, and it drives me mad. I don't know how to feel normal. I just can't continue like this anymore.
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Venting im going to CTB soon- attheendofthenight_
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