I can’t feel sad anymore

[A-A]

Tw// sh

I think I find comfort in being sad or morally just the feeling of being depressed since I've lived with depression and grew up with it, it feels comforting for some weird reason and it's like a loopy hug? And I'm starting to think I'm not depressed anymore since ig you could say life got better, but I get all irritable I feel like there's something missing from me and I can't get it back it's frustrating not knowing how to fix it to the point where I want to cry but I just cant. Not bc I don't want to cry just bc I just physically can't I decide to sh to feel something but it wasn't comforting anymore it just hurt so i resorted to another method of sh and some boiled hot water and spilt it on my hand to feel something and yet only then for 5 secs I felt truly comfortable. Now I'm just agitated all the time.

 

[numbed one]

Do you take any anti depressant ?
Cause i stoped feeling sad and depressed since i took meds w and i miss that inner void and pain and loneliness and sadness .

 

[A-A]

Do you take any anti depressant ?
Cause i stoped feeling sad and depressed since i took meds w and i miss that inner void and pain and loneliness and sadness .

Yeah I do take them, that could be the reason why